One Year Older and Wiser Too?

When I was a child I attended Primary each Sunday as part of my church worship services. When it was someone’s birthday we would sing a song to celebrate and often there would be a special crown to wear or a little card for those with birthday’s that month. 

One of those songs has always stuck with me:

“You’ve had a birthday, shout hooray.
We want to sing to you today.
One year older and wiser too.
Happy Birthday (clap) to you!”

As another birthday comes and goes, I have to ask, “Am I wiser this year than I was last year?”

I’m not sure. But I have enjoyed looking back at birthdays from the past while contemplating that question!

I was talking to a friend about two types of birthday experiences I’ve had: the beautiful under the radar memories and the awkward “You found out it’s my birthday, now what do we do?” moments.

One year while in college I went with some friends to a favorite swimming hole on my birthday. I’d always wanted a water party growing up, and going to school in Southern Virginia made that possible. You had to hike back into the woods a bit and there was a big rock in the middle of a wide, lazy river that created a pool deep enough to jump into. No one there knew it was my birthday – but that was part of why it was a perfect birthday in my mind. I was with people I loved, laughing and soaking in the warmth of the sun and the friendship I was surrounded by.

Another under the radar year in graduate school, I invited over some friends to have homemade biscuits and jam. I didn’t need them to know this was in honor of my birthday, I just needed them to know I valued spending time with them. And I needed to feel connected to others.

On the awkward end, the first year I moved to Boston, I signed up to attend a dinner group through my church. I didn’t know anyone in the group before I went, I didn’t want them to feel pressured to celebrate me. So, I didn’t tell anyone. But, as my phone kept buzzing through dinner, I felt rude. I felt compelled to explain. (Looking back now, I wonder why I didn’t just turn my phone off for the duration of dinner!)

I apologized for the interruptions, explaining that it was my birthday and that was why my phone kept buzzing. The host for the dinner group said she wished she had known so she could have baked me a cake (and I was glad she didn’t because I would have been embarrassed by the fuss made about me).

You see, I’m the kind of person who generally doesn’t like a big deal to be made about me. While I don’t love attention on me, I do love the chance my friends and family’s birthday’s provide for me to reach out in love – to share memories, to thank them for their positive impact in my life.

At some point, I realized that I should extend that same opportunity to others. I can allow others to know about my special day. I can learn to handle with grace the way attention makes me uncomfortable.

I hope I have grown wiser. And I hope I continue to do so. I am grateful for all the people in my life who make my life an adventure. For those who support me. For those who laugh and cry with me. For those who have come and gone and for those who are here for the long haul.