Sources of Happiness

Serendipitously I picked up the novel Stargirl just before some interesting and challenging things happened in my life – and it just so happened that the book fit in my coat pocket. That was an immeasurable blessing under the circumstances.

There were many things about this book that spoke to me – especially about the two main characters. One of whom I want to be more like (Stargirl) and one of whom I relate a lot to (Leo).

Stargirl is completely unique. She is a very caring person who pays attention to those around her and reaches out in ways that are meaningful to that individual.

Leo is a good person. He cares deeply about what those around him think. In some ways, and at some times, he fights that tendency. But, he still feels it.

There were three powerful scene in the book that have really kept me thinking:

The first vignette:

Stargirl was leaning forward, looking earnestly at Becca Rinaldi, her voice small as a little girl’s. “When the other team scores a point and you see how happy it makes all their fans, doesn’t it make you happy, too?"

Becca growled, “No.”

“Doesn’t it make you want to join in?”

“No.”

“Don’t you ever want the other team to be happy, too?”

“No.”

Stargirl seemed genuinely surprised. “You don’t always want to be the winner…do you?”

Becca scowled at her, jutted out her jaw. “Yes. Yes, I do. Yes I always want to be the winner. That’s what I do. I root for us to win. That’s what we all do.” She swept her arm around the set. “We root for Mica.” She jabbed her finger at the stage. “Who do you root for?”

Stargirl hesitated. She smiled, she threw out her arms. “I root for everybody!” (p64-65)

It was this moment in the book where I knew I wanted to be more like Stargirl. It reminds me of a truth that another quote teaches:

"Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not."
- Neil deGrasse Tyson

The second vignette:

Riding away I said, “Why don’t you leave a card or something with your name on it?”

The question surprised her. “Why should I?”

Her question surprised me. “Well, I don’t know, it’s just the way people do things.

They expect it. They get a gift, they expect to know where it came from.”

“Is that important?”

“Yeah, I guess—”
…..
“Where were we?” she said.

“Getting credit,” I said.

“What about it?”

“Well, it’s nice to get credit.”

The spokes of her rear wheel spun behind the curtain of her long skirt. She looked like a photograph from a hundred years ago. She turned her wide eyes on me. “Is it?” she said. (p110-111)

This is a question I find myself repeating over and over in my head – Is it? I don’t know.

The third vignette:

Some people in the school were starting to turn on Stargirl, and by association Leo. His tendency to care what others think of him comes through. He has an encounter with a fellow student and discovers:

I had never realized how much I needed the attention of others to confirm my own presence. (p126) 

I feel the same way sometimes. It is in some ways an interesting catch 22 – we really do need people, and life is so much fuller and more fun when shared. But, we can become too dependent on the input of others. I’ve been finding that an intense "need for the attention of others to confirm my presence" leaves me quite vulnerable. And makes me want to be more like Stargirl – invested in the happiness of others. Strange how that leads to increased personal happiness :)

Yay for books that make me think :) and for such uplifting and motivating things to think about!