Learn to Join the Dance

I was walking to work the other day reading an article from the Ensign about the law of fasting. The article quoted from the Doctrine and Covenants - a collection of revelation given to Joseph Smith, the prophet who restored Christ's Church to the earth in modern times:

"For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, was were instituted from before the foundation of the world" (Doc & Cov 132:5).

As I thought about this verse in connection to fasting and the blessings that come from obedience to specific laws, I was reminded of another verse from this same body of scripture:

"There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated" (Doc & Cov 130:20-21)

Then I got to thinking about how cool it is that we existed before this life, and that we knew God's plan for us and chose to come to this earth and be tested and have the opportunity to choose to follow the laws of God and reap blessings connected to those laws. I also thought about the fact that we do not always know the blessings that are attached to specific laws and that sometimes we do not even know exactly what we need to do.

Almost immediately the lyrics to a country song came to my mind:

"Life's a dance you learn as you go/Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow/Don't worry about what you don't know/Life's a dance you learn as you go" (Life's A Dance by John Michael Montgomery)

I really felt at that moment no need to "worry about what I don't know" I felt assured that I really will learn as I go - and that I will not be alone in my efforts. Another song with very similar lyrics also came to mind:

"And though you'll never know all the steps, you must learn to join the dance." (Prince of Egypt sound track "Through Heaven's Eyes")

Dancing is something I really like to do, but do not feel that I am very good at - or at least I do not know many steps. That does not keep me from participating, nor does it make me doubt that dancing is possible. I know there are others that know far more than I do, and often they are more than willing to teach me if I will but ask and watch and then do what they show me. I have also learned that I am fairly good at following. If I dance with someone who knows the steps and how to lead, with a little coaching on the basic steps I am good to go.

Thinking about all this I realized that I can come to learn principles and doctrines of Christ's gospel in the same way. He set the perfect example that I can watch and follow. He knows the steps and will help me follow and learn them as I allow Him to lead me. Laws and rules exist to help us and guide us. We can follow them, and will experience greater success and joy when we do so.

Today is a Gift

Recently there has been record amounts of snow falling where I live. I only went to work twice last week due to weather. One of the mornings that my work was canceled, I got an email from my boss telling out team she hoped we would be safe and warm, read something good, and accept this day as the gift that it is. Since my power was not out that day, I did stay safe and warm. I also did a lot of reading over the week. But what really struck me was her reminder that today is a gift.

Now I know she was specifically referring to the fact that we did not have to try to get to work in the snow, and that "non-essential" employees were not even required to work from home. In reality every day is a gift. I have the chance to approach each day with that attitude. There is always something good to discover, something to be grateful for, experiences we have that move us forward. I was grateful for the reminder from my boss that life is to be enjoyed and appreciated. That joy can be found even in less than ideal situations.

That day was a gift, today is a gift, and tomorrow is a gift too. I hope I remember that and treat each day as the gift it truly is.

Prayers Answered

I was asked to speak in Church the Sunday after Thanksgiving based on a talk given by Elder David A. Bednar in General Conference this past October.

Ironically, or maybe providently, I had already re-read this talk several times. There were themes in his talk that I picked up throughout the entire Conference - the need to not just know things, but to act on our knowledge. The need to decrease that gap between our knowledge and our actions. He said that there are things we know, but they are not necessarily reflected in what we do. It has been my experience that things that are simple are not always easy.

I learned so much as I studied in preparation for this talk. I spent a fair amount of time praying that I would be able to touch someone else's heart - that this was not just going to be a good experience for me, but that I could reflect the truths I had learned. I often pray prayers like that, and rarely do I ever find out if they have been answered or not.

Well, there was no question this time. One of my roommates good friends told me he thought my talk had been good. I didn't think twice about that till I was at our Institute of Religion class on Tuesday. There was a stray set of scriptures so I picked them up to figure out who they belonged to. As I was flipping through the papers in the back looking for a name, I saw my own name. This person had written down notes from what I said in my talk. I was floored.

Then, I hear "Nicole, can I have my scriptures back?" It was my roommates friend. He had been serious - he had enjoyed my talk. He saw what I was looking at and said, "See, you never know who you are going to influence for good."

I was humbled by this answer to my prayer - both that the prayer was answered so clearly and that I was able to find out about it. I love things like this that testify to me how much God loves all His children. I love that we have chances to answer others prayers and to have our prayers answered by the people around us.

Are You Mormon?

You know those questions that you just know are coming. Ones that come up often enough that they are really no surprise. As I was leaving work today, I was asked two such questions, one which I liked, and one which I did not.

So, I'm new to my job, and I definitely have not met everyone who works in the office. Many of those I meet for the first time ask if I am an intern. This is really not too surprising, I just finished school, and I realize I look pretty young. Today, I was walking out the door and this woman I had not met before says, "Excuse me, are you in college?" No. No I'm not. Then I wondered how many more times I will have to answer this question.

Then, I was walking down the street towards public transit and ran into a coworker of mine who I do know. She asked me where I came from and how long I've been in the area. When I told her I grew up in Utah, I got what is a very typical response: "Oh, are you a Mormon?" Yes. Yes I am. That is a question I never get tired of answering. I am a Mormon. I love being a Mormon. I love talking to people about what I believe, or what being a Mormon is like. I love being able to share small glimpses of the most important thing in my life with people I come in contact with - be that contact brief of extended. Unlike with the first question, with this question I wonder how many more times will I get to answer this one?

You know, as much as I dislike being asked some questions, I'll take them if it means sometimes I get to answer questions I love.

I Don't Have Time for This!

Today when I was walking back to the train after a longer day at work than I had planned on I noticed my phone was having some issues and thought, "I don't have time for this!" Then I thought about what I had just thought and realized that there will probably never come a day when I think, "Today I have time for something, or everything to go wrong. Today it won't upset me, and I can deal with all the stress and headache." I had to smile to myself (but I was still not happy about my phone).

After I got home I found out that my much anticipated plans for the evening were no longer an option. "I don't deserve this!" I thought, perpetuating my negative mood. After all, I had just finished a long day, and the anticipation of the exciting evening was one of the things that helped pull me through the day. Didn't I deserve to go have some fun?

As a distraction I decided to get online and send some emails. Well, the first email I opened made it clear that even though I am now employed my days of financial worry are far from over. "I can't deal with this!" was my first stress filled thought. Then a dear friend of mine reminded me that things will work out, and that there are proactive steps I can take. She gave me hope that I really can deal with this.

A couple emails later, I came across a letter from my brother. He is in Russia, and dealing with some totally unfair circumstances completely out of his control - things he does not have time for, does not deserve, and could very easily feel he can not deal with. But, he never mentioned any of those negative feelings. Instead, my little brother set a wonderful example for me reminding me that we choose our response to our circumstances and that so often true joy comes through our troubles as we learn how to be strong, and to swallow pride, and to feel and express true joy for others.

Hopefully I've gotten my selfish pity party out of my system for the next while, and I can instead focus on the incredibly wonderful things in my life. There are so many! Thanks to you my brother (even though you won't be reading this any time soon :)

I just finished a book that talked about 30 things we should know now. It was interesting - parts of it made me angry, parts of it made me cry, parts of it made me think. The parts that made me think were my favorite.

One of the ideas that was presented in this book was that we cannot change others, we can only decide our reactions to people and situations. This is a concept I am very familiar with, and really like - most of the time. I really liked the way he presented this concept: "If you cannot change the people around you, you can at least have the satisfaction of surprising them."

Reading that sentence and thinking about this concept reminded me of an experience I had as a teenager that taught me the power of not simply reacting as expected - of choosing to act differently than initially intended - and the sense of accomplishment that can bring.

Once my brothers and I were old enough, our parents assigned us to be responsible for a room for a month at a time on a rotating basis. Everyone dreaded their month in the kitchen - vacuuming only had to be done once a week, but dishes had to be done every day. At one point my parents told my brothers and me that their goal in giving us these chores in this way was that we would realize that we didn't like cleaning up after everyone's messes and just take care of our own. I told myself that I would try it with dishes, but if others didn't follow suit, I was done. Sometimes all of us did for one meal, but it never lasted.

One day it hit me that I was only hurting myself by "keeping score" and "punishing" others by not helping out. Then I really set the goal, and consistently cleaned up after myself. Honestly, I don't remember when or if my brothers every started doing the same, or if they or my parents ever were surprised by the change, but I know I was happier.

I have put that pattern into action in other ways and in different areas of my life, and at times I have felt the satisfaction of surprising others. Best of all, I have surprised myself with my ability to let things go, to not let the actions of others dictate my own, and to let go when I realize I'm trying to change others.

All Will Be Well

With all the change and decisions I'm facing in my life, this is a truth that I have been trying desperately to remind myself of. I do believe it - I'm just not sure I want to deal with whatever is going to happen between now and when all is well.

At Church today, there were some big changes announced. These changes are not going to really affect me, because I am moving. However, the comments made about change could not have been more timely. Personally I am facing a lot of change right now. Since I just graduated, this was to be expected, and my choices about what to study and where I'd like to work have greatly impacted the type and scope of change I face. None of that erases the fact that I feel nervous about the changes that are coming. I just want to share some of the thoughts that I heard today - even if it is just a selfish way to process what I was told and to more fully absorb the thoughts myself.

One of the first comments was, "All will be well, but it is a hard day." I really appreciate that acknowledgment. In the words of a good friend of mine, "can't I just be sad for a while?" I think that sometimes when we go through hard times we fail to allow ourselves a chance to just be sad, or to admit that this is a hard day. Sure, all will be well, but that takes time. And that is okay.

Looking back at past events that seemed hard can help too. I know that has helped me. Often I had no idea how things would work out in my life, but somehow they did. Usually not how I thought they would, but all too often better than I would have predicted. As they say, hind sight is 20/20, and looking back can help us have the courage to move forward and the patience to wait for the good that is coming.

The last comment about change that I want to share was, "Embrace change for the good it will bring." I will try to do that. I'm sure that the change in my life will bring good. I know it will bring growth. I know it will allow me to meet new people and to learn to give and serve in new ways. I know that growth and increased understanding are worth the hard day moments that come along.

All will be well. And in the mean time, I'll cling to that truth.