And Perhaps Until the Day I Die

Big surprise: I've been thinking a lot lately :) I'm looking for a new job, and I just spent a couple weeks in a place I'd never been before with some people I didn't know before I got there. Plenty of time, and reason, for introspection . . .

The people I stayed with are relatively new to the area themselves, and not sure how long they will be there - but they talk about the quality of the high school in the area and told me they are "planting roots like we'll be here a long time. But, who knows."

My long term plans are equally up in the air. And if I do move to a new area in my immediate next steps, I have no idea how long that next step will last. A few months? A few years? A decade? Who knows. But, doesn't that make it hard to move on and then hard to connect to people and things in the new area? Yes, I think it does.

This concept has become particularly poignant as I am applying for jobs - in multiple locations. How do I convince myself, let alone the person who I want to hire me, that this is a good move? Who wants to hire someone who might be gone in a couple months? Or even a year?

A story from the Book of Mormon came to mind as I thought about all this. Ammon and his brothers leave their homeland to teach and serve among the Lamanites, a people that their people are often at war with. They have a great desire to teach them about Christ and a love for the Lamanites, despite the wars between their people.

When Ammon first enters the land of the Lamanites, he is bound with cords and taken to the king of the land. The king could decide to kill Ammon, to put him in prison, to cast him out of the land - anything he felt like. If that were me, I would have been terrified. I would want to say something that would keep me alive and safe.

I have no idea what Ammon was thinking - but when the king asked if Ammon wanted to live among the Lamanites, Ammon responded: "Yea, I desire to dwell among this people for a time; yea, and perhaps until the day I die." (Alma 17:23)

Till the day he dies? Does he think that will (or at least might) be today? Does he really want to live there for the rest of his life? Is he just trying to make the king happy and stay alive?

I don't think so. I think what he is saying is more along these lines: I have come here with a purpose. It is a decision I made. It is something I intend to see through. I don't know how long that will take, but I have no plans to walk away from this goal, so I'll be here till it's done.

That is powerful to me. And I feel that is an attitude I can adopt. To me it embodies a "be happy now" or "blossom where you are planted" attitude. Don't wait till the next best thing comes along - because when it does, you'll just want the next next best thing. It also seems like a pretty good attitude to take into an interview. "Yes, this is where I want to be. And this is where I see myself for the foreseeable future."

Prayer

I recently finished an audio book that was in many ways a modern day prodigal son story (see Luke 15:11-32 ). There were a few interesting passages about prayer that really got me thinking.

"Prayer, you know, you open up your thoughts and then you can get a good look at them. No point trying to hide anything."

"Prayer is a discipline in truthfulness, in honesty."

Those two lines got me thinking about prayer in general and about the current state of my prayers.

I like this idea that prayer is a chance for us to be completely honest. We are talking with someone whom we cannot hide anything from, even if we want to (and even if we try). And it helps to remember that we pray to someone who loves us perfectly despite anything we may want to hide from Him - someone who can, and will, help us through/with anything we bring to Him. Prayer is a chance to get a good look at our thoughts, at our intended actions, at how we feel; a chance to make course corrections with the love and guidance of an all-knowing, perfectly loving Father.

It has been my experience that I can tell the health of my relationship with the Heavenly Father by the diligence and depth of my prayers and scripture study. That made me think about the things that I am, if not trying to hide, at least not bringing to the table in these sacred communications. It made me think about the importance of not simply going through some motions - but really, really taking the time to talk, to think through, to ask for advice. It also made me very glad that gems of truth can be found anywhere is we are only looking for them :)

A Thought on FREEDOM

"Tyranny, like Hell, is not easily conquered, yet we have this consolation with us that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly . . . it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly esteemed."

Thomas Paine, American Crisis No. 1

I love American history. I greatly admire the men and women who sacrificed, and worked, and dreamed to create the Declaration of Independence, to combine thirteen independent colonies, to grapple with important issues and compromise to reach a consensus toward the greater common good.

So often when I read their words and hear their stories my heart thrills and I am nearly overcome with gratitude – and a sense that I have a great debt to fill. Or maybe a great cause to continue carrying forward. Or that I have inherited the right and ability to make the world a better place, the need to not take things for granted, to avoid esteeming too lightly so many wonderful things that have been simply handed to me.

I know I am a greatly blessed person. I know that at times I do not act in accordance with what I know. Elder David A. Bednar taught “what we know is not always reflected in what we do” I am grateful for reminders that it is easy to forget the importance of things in our lives – to forget to do what we know is right and will bring joy to others and advance the common good. I know and can do more to highly esteem the FREEDOM that I have been given at such a dear price to so many people – past, present and future.

Thank you Thomas Paine. Thank you Elder David A. Bednar.

The Best Misperception Ever

Yesterday I was riding the bus and about halfway to my destination three high school girls got on. I was reading a book and only vaguely aware of them, but they were talking loudly so I did overhear bits and pieces of their discussions of such things as their likes or dislikes of Dove body wash (One girl said it didn't work for her, another girl said she has been at a camp where there were no showers and three days later she still smelled like Dove).

"Why were you at a camp that didn't have showers for three days?"

The next thing I remember hearing was "she's a Mormon" which caught my attention.

The anti-Dove body wash girl looked mortified. And said, "Don't they deal with dead people right after they die?"

"No, like we're Christian, she's Mormon."

"But, who are those people - it starts with M too - that deal with dead people?"

They had no idea - "Mortician" I say from a few rows back.

"Ya, morticians. Aren't morticians and Mormons the same thing?"

Say something! I think in my head to the girl who has been identified as a Mormon - your friends think you deal with dead people right after they die - you have to say something.

No answer.

"What do you have to do to be a Mormon?"

Still no answer.

The bus stopped, and they ran away to catch another bus so I never heard the end or if the girl clarified to her what it means to be a Mormon or not.

As for me, that has to be the best misperception I have heard to date as to who Mormons are.

A Thought on Revelation

Revelation is a conclusion not an explanation.

As taught by David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

I've been thinking about this a lot, and need to think about it a lot more . . .

I will go, I will do – right?

For a very long time, I have told myself that I would go wherever God wanted me to and do what He would have me do. I still think that is true, at least for the most part. However, I had an opportunity to listen to a talk from Elder Claudio R. M. Costa, one of the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As Elder Costa spoke to a group of single 20- and 30-year-olds he referenced a story that is very, very familiar to readers of the Book of Mormon (if you are not familiar with it, you can read 1 Nephi chapters 3-7). There is a young man named Nephi who is in a very similar life situation that most of us listening to Elder Costa find ourselves in. Nephi at one point tells his father “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7). Then he added, “I think most of us think we are like Nephi, and would say ‘I will go, I will do’, but are we not sometimes like Laman and Lemuel?” Laman and Lemuel were Nephi’s brothers who did not want to go and do the things that their father, through the guidance of God, was asking them to do.

Elder Costa then told the familiar story along these lines: One morning Nephi’s dad came to him and said, “I had a dream, and you need to go back through the desert three days and three nights and get these precious records from a man who has 50 men always on hand to kill anyone who takes anything from him.” Nephi said, I will go, I will do. How many of us would be tempted to say, “Oh Daddy, can’t I at least take a shower first?” or “Oh Daddy, isn’t there some other say? I might die if I try to do that.”

Well, these brothers do go and do. They finally get back to their family and once again Nephi’s dad comes and says, “I know you just got back, but I am going to stay here again, and I need you to go back three days and three nights in the desert and tell this man and his family to come and join us – and be sure to bring his daughters.” Imagine showing up on this mans doorstep and saying, “Hi, you don’t really know me, but you may remember my father who took us into the wilderness awhile back because people were trying to kill him. Anyway, I know I am dirty and smelly after walking three days and three nights through the desert, but I need you to come with me back to my father. Oh, and by the way, you need to bring your daughters so they can marry us.”

I know this may seem comical, or even a little sacrilegious, but it was a very timely thing for me to hear. As I already stated, I have tried to be the kind of person that says “I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, I’ll do what you want me to do, I’ll say what you want me to say.” (check out this great video) Right now I find myself in great transition, and have been saying “Heavenly Father, where would Thou have me go? What should I do next?” Then I received what I call a prompting – I felt that there was guidance from a higher power that came to me. My response? I will go, I will do? Nope. Instead, I said “Whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute, that is not what I want to do. I have never wanted to live there, why should I look for jobs there?” And after a few moments, I felt I might need to redeem myself, so I said, “Okay, look. If this is what I’m supposed to do, I need some clear direction here, not just a passing thought.”

In essence, although I had been saying “I will go, I will do” when the actual assignment came, I said, “I need a little more time” (if I’m generous with myself) or “I meant I would do what Thou would have me do as long as it fits in with my plan and what I am comfortable with” (if I am more honest with myself).

I am grateful for the chance I had to listen to Elder Costa and the chance it has given me to step back and re-evaluate whether I really mean what I say and more specifically what I pray. I want to mean it, and I am going to work harder for my actions to be aligned with that desire and commitment.

Favorite Thing to do in Vermont (4-year-old Perspective)

I was on a walk with a 4-year-old yesterday when we heard a helicopter overhead. He was excited to look at it and I asked him where he thought the helicopter was going. His response: Vermont.

Knowing he had recently been to Vermont to ski, I asked him what his favorite thing to do in Vermont was (anticipating that I would get to hear about his ski trip, of course). His response was not at all what I expected.

"Well, read a book, take a walk . . ." he listed a couple other things and then in a very excited voice finished, "and then get a treat! Yeah!"

Thanks for the 4-year-old perspective! It is not always about the big things - people we love and activities we do all the time are more than enough to bring great joy.