Random Thoughts on Making a Difference

I'm cleaning up and purging things from my life. In doing so, I've come across some fun scraps of paper and notebooks holding my thoughts and feelings. This one was worth sharing:

We may be tempted to think we can’t make a difference, or at least not enough of a difference, but because we know the teachings of Christ we can overcome this mindset. Christ was about the one. If we can help one who without us would be in trouble we have made a big enough difference. You never know how the person you have helped will help others. Your influence will affect eternity, your own and those around you, but it may be in the eternities that those effects are made known.

What kind of waitress am I?

Years ago I heard a story that has always stuck with me. It goes something like this:

There were two aspiring writers who were working as waitresses at the same restaurant. One of the women was always complaining about her job and talking about how what she really wanted to do was to be writing. She went home tired every night with no energy to write and could see no end to her miserable cycle in sight.  

The other woman talked to all of her customers and often jotted down notes about conversations she had and ideas that the experiences of her customers inspired. Every night she went home excited and with new ideas and materials for her writing.

In my life right now, I'm asking myself which waitress I am more like. I know I want to be more like the waitress who goes home excited and inspired. 

Tonight, I was showing some friends some of the projects I've been woking on (a scarf for my brother, and cards to sell on Etsy) and one friend said, "how do you find the time!?" and another said, "I know how, she doesn't waste any time, she sits in the back of class and knits."

While I do waste plenty of time, I think this exchange is a good indicator that I'm at least trending towards the happy waitress approach to life – I'm working hard to make some of my dreams come true. I'm striving to find things to be positive about and motivated by. And, overall, I think it's working!

Seeking for Zion

On the train yesterday, I looked up to see a large tattoo on the arm of the man across from me that caught my eye. 

There are lots of large tattoos out there, but I hadn't seen one quite like this – in scrolled lettering, his forearm proudly proclaimed "Seeking for Zion"

I had to smile, and I wanted to take a picture, or talk to him, and am kicking myself that I did neither. But it did get me thinking, and reading a bit thanks to his willingness to publicly declare his intentions.

What does that mean to me, seeking Zion? And am I really doing it?

The Pearl of Great Price teaches us that "the Lord called his people Zion, because they were of one heart and one mind, and dwelt in righteousness; and there was no poor among them" (see Moses 7:18)

And in the Doctrine and Covenants 97:21 the Lord teaches that Zion is the pure in heart.

Seems like if I want to seek Zion, then I need to work on my heart. And it sure is far from pure right now.  But I can work on that!

Also seems I could do a better job at being bold and upfront about my desire to better serve God and my fellowmen. Maybe not with a tattoo, but certainly in the way I treat those around me at all times.

You gotta ask

I've had a lot of people ask me for money and for food over the years. This morning was different.

On my way to kickboxing I eat half a power bar to give me some energy. Today, when I was a couple bites into my half eaten bar, a man (who had been talking to himself) stopped in front of me and said, "you gonna finish that? Can I have it?" Surprised I said "sure" and handed it over. He was very excited and walked away all smiles.

This experience reminded me that it often doesn't take much to make a difference for someone else. It made me grateful both that I had something to give (as crazy as half an eaten bar is) and that he decided for whatever reason that he could ask me to share.

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN GIVEN MUCH

Because I have been given much
I too must give
Because of thy great bounty Lord
Each day I live
I shall divide gifts from thee
With every brother that see
Who has the need of help from me

 

Because I have been sheltered, fed
By thy good care
I cannot see another’s lack and I not share
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,

my roof saved shelter overhead
That he to me be comforted

 

Because I have been blessed by
thy great love dear Lord
I’ll share thy love again
According to thy word
I shall give love to those in need
I’ll show that love by word and deed
Thus shall my thanks be thanks in deed

Perhaps it's time for me to be more proactive in my sharing. Not wait to be asked for something small.

Try Again

"... Things I didn't know at first I learned by doing twice"

-Billy Joel

Finding nuggets of truth and wisdom is one of my favorite things. This one I really like, but feel I need to ponder some more. So, I'm going to process by writing.

Like many people, I have a fear of failure. A fear of others thinking poorly of me. A fear of doing things wrong.

But why?

It's interesting to me that I have such trouble with the fear of failure because of my knowledge of, and faith in, the atonement of Christ. His atonement gives us second chances. And boy am I glad because I certainly need them!

Human beings are not perfect. And it is unlikely that we can, or will, get things right the first time. But as Mr Joel reminded me, that's what the second time is for.

What I wasn't too think about is what things I would do if I want scared of failing. And do them. And when I fail, do them again. The second time will likely be better :)

Faith Restored in Humanity

I've had a rough week.

Yesterday was particularly challenging - so much so that last night I looked up a talk from a few years ago I heard where a little boy tells his mom "Hope ya know we had a hard time" and cried.

I was very grateful for some reassurances from people I love and who know me well. But you know what really restored my faith in humanity today? a fork :)

In my hurry to eat lunch and rush to the train on my way to a meeting I wasn't looking forward to I dropped my fork. I was trying to work out in my head how to manage without it when I heard someone from a street food truck calling out.

My first thought was he wanted someone to buy something from him. Not the case - he was telling me, "Miss, we have forks!"

Such a simple thing. I gratefully accepted the fork and then noticed several other things to be grateful for - someone holding a door open, a "bless you" after a sneeze...

People are great. Life is good!

What do I have time for?

I just finished reading Room by Emma Donoghue. Through the whole book, I was impressed by the way and the things this mother teaches this son. And I couldn't help feeling like I could benefit from a lot of the wisdom shared.

Towards the beginning Jack and his Ma have a great conversation:

"My teeth feel a bit better if I stop thinking about them," she tells me.
"How come?"
"It's called mind over matter. If we don't mind, it doesn't matter."

What if we all did that? Didn't mind about things that didn't matter? And choose not to make too big a deal about things that we do mind? So that they don't "matter" in the way that just creates more frustration and drama in our life. That would be so cool!

Jack also realizes the human side of people, and that one act doesn't define a person. He says it best in this comment/ observation about his Ma:

She's not mean, but sometimes she does mean things.

And by "mean things" he means things that 5-year-olds don't want to have to do – momentary dislike for long-term good.

I think I like most (maybe because it so accurately reflects my life right now…) something from the end of the book:

In the world I notice persons are nearly always stressed and have no time. Even Grandma often says that, but she and Steppa don't have jobs, so I don't know how persons with jobs do the job sand all the living as well. In Room me and Ma had time for everything. I guess the time gets spread very thin like butter over all the world, the roads and houses and playgrounds and stores, so there's only a little smear of tie on each place, then everyone has to hurry on to the next bit.

Why do we do that? Hurry from one thing to the next and always talk about how busy or stressed we are? And even a better question – how do we do the job and the living thing? I sure want to know!

But, in some ways, I do already know. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf talked about this very thing in General Conference in October 2010

Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

Then President Uchtdorf reminds us that we don't have to stay in this crazy busy pattern:

There is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions.

I find that it is easier for me to keep things simple – to keep things in perspective – when I focus on living the gospel of Jesus Christ. When I make time to pray and read my scriptures and serve others.

Which reminds me of some other great advice (that I need to implement in my life again right now...)

When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.
- President Ezra Taft Benson

So, I've been trying to slow down a little bit. To ask if I really need to do something or am just in a cycle of craving busyness and a long to-do list. And most importantly to make time for the little things that keep me close to God. Yes, that means that I might not mark quite as many things off my to-do list, but over the past few days I've found that it doesn't stress me out so much. That I am still able to do what I really need to – and recognize what those things are.