Speaks to My Soul: Chapters by Brett Young

New years can be exciting, overwhelming, fun, frustrating – basically, a mixture of emotions and experiences.

For me they often feel like a chance to pause, to take stock. The turning of a page. The beginning of a chapter.

So, for my first Speaks to My Soul post of 2021, I chose to write about Chapters sung by Brett Young.

In this song, the story is about a boy wanting to play ball – and finding out his injury or physical limitations will not allow that to happen professionally:

Doc said you'll never play again
Worst thing I ever heard
It sounds rough, doesn't it?
I wish I knew back then

I bet each of us has at least one moment like that – where someone else tells us the “Worst thing [we] ever heard” and we think everything is over, there is no coming back from this set back.

There's no perfect life
You can't hold back time

I feel like 2020 taught this lesson over and over again. And often not perfect is REALLY not perfect. Not what we wanted, expected or would have chosen. But, “you can’t hold back time” – it marches forward no matter what we do.

It is also why there is no way to just “go back to normal”. Because things changed.

People.

Expectations.

World views.

And that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Truth is that we all got stories
Gotta fail on your way to glory
Takes time tryna get it right

A recurring thing I’ve felt, and witnessed in others, is the feeling that our life is a series of crashes and burns and others’ lives are a series of highlight reels. And a lot of social media feeds into this image – literally.

But, it is true – we all “gotta fail on [our] way to glory” and it certainly “Takes time tryna get it right” but the trying is worth it.

… every future has a past

And we can only get to the future by living now, and that now becomes our past and creates our future.

…right now I can hear God laughin'
Guess he must have heard my plans
And my odes, thought it was a joke
Gave me more than I could ask

Every page you turn
Is a lesson learned

This lyric speaks to why we can’t just go back. Because along the way we learn lessons. And we can carry those lessons and experiences and increased knowledge forward with us.

Ain't we all, ain't we all just tryna get it right?

I know I am. And I believe {most} other people are too. And I hope we all keep trying together, because I think we have great power to get things right – or at the very least to make them better, for everyone.

I wish I knew back then

This refrain in the song is near and dear to my heart. I said something similar when I relaunched my Etsy shop in 2020:

Sometimes we have to do hard things. Things that scare us.

For, well, years I've been standing on the edge asking if I'm ready and willing to take the leap and run my own business. So, I've dabbled here and there. Taken a step in one direction. Then taken five steps back into something more "safe".

I'm ready to try again!

There are so many sayings out there - "Better done than perfect" "One bird in your hand is better than two in the bush" - that remind me that sometimes we just have to leap.

And, I'm sure that this time will be like so many others:

I'll learn as I go

• Things will get better
• Looking back at some of the things I'm doing now will make me cringe
• I'll wish I had known now what I will know then

But, now is all I've got, and I'm going for it!

We can’t know now what we will know then. But, we can trust that we will learn and grow and gain knowledge as we continue to experience life, continue to turn the pages and chapters day by day.

Things change in the blink of an eyelid

Not in every blink, but we never know which blink will bring the changes.

If you know someone who just experienced one of those blink of an eyelid changes, send them some love. If you can look back now and have some level of gratitude for one of those changes in your life, drop a comment below and share so we can all learn, grow, support and celebrate together!

P.S. Here's a link to the song if you want to give it a listen!

Speaks to My Soul: Come Away by Jason Polley

Do some things just feel right to you – but you can’t put them into words?

I have that feeling a lot.

Sometimes I feel that as I pray. I try to communicate with God “the author the maker of souls” and I can only do so in images or feelings. Words won’t come or can’t do justice.

Or I receive answers to my prayers – direction from God for my life – but there are no words. There may just be peace. Or a hint of an idea.

Despite this (or maybe because of this) I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves me. I believe He has a plan for us, His children. I believe He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to live and die for us.

My life has given me opportunities to “Come away, come away with me” as I strive to follow in the footsteps of our Savior, Jesus Christ. As I turn to God in repentance and seek the healing balm brought through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As I find myself one of “the battered and broken” that was “made clean” and “set free”.

I echo Jason Polley’s words

I have been a worried soul for most of my days
But I'm learning to let myself be okay

And I’m relearning that I can be okay even though

turning from your past mistakes ain't as easy as it seems

It is true

When you won't accept forgiveness
You're left to your own schemes

But we don’t have to rely on our own schemes. We can choose to follow God’s plan. We can learn of Him through the scriptures and the words of modern-day prophets.

I have tried to understand my heart but I can't 

What makes me a child and what makes me a man

There are many paradoxes in life, and contradictive truths that we have to balance in our minds. But my experience has taught me that when I turn to the Savior and seek understanding directly from God I find the balance and understanding I need. I find peace and an ability to accept the truth I know now while also seeking additional knowledge and learning line upon line.

PS if you want to listen, check out the song on Spotify 

Speaks to My Soul: Drive by Ben Rector

I have often felt the feels of this song. But I feel them more now – after being confined mostly to the walls of my own home for more then two months.

Let's go

I don't care
Anywhere

And even the uncertainty of “what we’ll find” seems heightened in our current world

White lines flyin' by, who knows what we'll find
You and me tonight

The slow opening and a tentative return to “normal” that makes possible the very idea of “you and me” becoming a reality again is exciting.

When's the last time we dropped our things and went?
Woke up somewhere that we've both never been?

Too long.

That would generally be my response, but it is wholeheartedly my response right now.

But this line, it is rolling around in my brain:

Growin' up doesn't mean gettin' older

I want to do what I feel is the essence of this line: strive for the heart of a child. Maintain your wonder at the beautiful world around you. Make friends easily. Let go of hurts and build bridges back to people. Allow tears to wash away the pain and get back to living life fully. Hug those you love, hold their hand, say your love through actions (and words).

One more line jumps out – and stands in starker relief after the past couple months:

I just wanna come back with a memory

Even before quarantine and isolation, this was a sentiment that struck a chord. I’ve found that the more places I go and things I see, the truer this statement becomes for me.

Memories are what I want to carry with me. Pictures help me relive them. And even better is seeing and talking to the people I made those memories with again.

So, family, here I come – and let’s make some new memories and relive some old ones, whether we drive and wake up somewhere we’ve never been or just sit around mom and dad’s well-worn kitchen table.

P.S. Here’s a link to the song. Give it a listen. Better yet, go for a drive while listening :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbrvCyEoW0Q

Speaks to My Soul Series: Tear Up This Town

Sometimes I don’t really know why I relate to a song so much.

But this line:

I need an answer but I'm always one step behind

That feels more real and relatable than I want it to.

I was talking to one of my friends about starting over. She’s looking for jobs and is casting a wide net. But the reality of moving somewhere where you don’t know anyone to start a new job, alone – it’s daunting.

I need a friend but a friend is so hard to find

Why? Why is it so hard to find a friend?

Here’s one of the reasons:

'Cause it takes time

To be fair, the song goes on to say:

'Cause it takes time
Learning to fly

Yes, learning to fly takes time. But the more I’ve thought about this, the more I realize it is true for most things. They take time.

And we’ll feel differently about it from day to day. Some days we’ll be able to push forward, other days we’ll hang back:

Some days I rage like a fire in the wilderness
Some days I only need the darkness and a place to rest

But I think the unwritten truth here is that if we are willing to put in the time – to not give up before things come together – we’ll be able to do it. Whatever it is: learn to fly, make a friend, find our answer.

Listen to the full song here

Speaks To My Soul: Brighter Days by Eddie Kirkland

Sometimes nearly an entire song speaks to me (as with Doin’ Fine). Other times it is a couple of words or phrases that get me (or that I fully get?)

Life's not easy, when you live with
Your heart open wide

So, I want to live with my heart open, and I agree with Lauren Alaina that it’s better that way. 

But that doesn’t make it easy.

Not easy to do (especially after getting so good at keeping my heart closed or at least hidden behind walls of self-protection).

Not easy to feel all the pain and rejection that can come to a wide-open heart.

But I still want it. And I second what Eddie Kirkland sings:

Don't let me walk away

And I remind myself:

No, pain is not the enemy
I'm just learning how to change

Change can be just as hard and painful as living with your heart wide open. But I feel certain both of them are worth it – and far better than any alternative.