“Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25)
I truly believe that scripture is true. But I also know that life isn't one joyful moment after another – there are a lot of not so great moments sprinkled in that come with great pain and heartache attached.
Right now is one of those times when the fact that life isn't fair is 'in your face' and joy seems distant.
Flying out to Utah with the Knight family for a funeral for their 12-year-old daughter Madi, who just passed away from a brain tumor, I heard some lyrics from a song I love. However, these words hit a little too close to home today:
“Call it a feeling, call it a premonition, things are about to go my way....some see a cancer killing me, I see a couple I.V.'s that I'll use then I'll beat...”
- Looking Up by SafetySuit
Except when it doesn't, like this time.
More song lyrics come to mind:
“Words fail...words fail.”- Words Fail Dear Evan Hansen
But, I'm going to try to use a few words to process what I've been feeling.
A few weeks ago I listened to a TED talk about the power of emotion that has been on my mind since. One of the big take aways is that there is danger in false positivity. I find this to be both powerful and comforting. We can, and should allow ourselves to feel emotions, to express them. We can, and should, “...mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort...” (see Mosiah 18:9). And that is hard, and it hurts, but doesn't mean not having hope or seeking for peace.
A reminder for how, and where, to find peace came in one of the most spiritually powerful moments of my life. There were about 30 young women and their adult leaders who came to sing to Madi. The spirit in that room was so powerful, it was palpable. Many cried as they sang or heard the repeated words:
“When there's no peace on earth, there is peace in Christ.”
I am grateful for the kind of relationships in this life that make us hurt when bad things happen to people we love. Not that I want bad things to happen, but that I want to care about people so much that I do hurt when they hurt.
I am also grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am grateful that He came to earth and gave His life to make it possible for all of us to return to live with God after this life.
While it doesn't make the pain go away, there is great power in knowing that we are eternal beings and our family relationships will last beyond the grave.
Praying for peace in Christ for the Knight family – and all those who love them – at this time when there is not peace on earth.