Sunday, March 25, 2012

Rejoice in Repentance

"Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace."

Last week in Church all the talks in Sacrament Meeting were about repentance. These were great reminders to me and I was inspired to re-listen to a talk on repentance from last October's General Conference by Elder D. Todd Christofferson. The quote above and the quotes below come from this talk.

"Without repentance, there is no real progress or improvement in life."

This phrase has really helped me feel that we should rejoice in repentance - I want to progress and improve. I want to remove guilt or shame from my life. I want to know that my Heavenly Father is pleased with me and the choices I'm currently making. I know that repentance is what helps me fee the peace that I crave.

"Pretending there is no sin does not lessen its burden and pain. Suffering for sin does not by itself change anything for the better. Only repentance leads to the sunlit uplands of a better life. And, of course, only through repentance do we gain access to the atoning grace of Jesus Christ and salvation."   

 This quote stopped me in my tracks. I'll admit - there are times when I think suffering is exactly what I should do if I do something wrong. I'm reminded that I have repeatedly been taught that Christ suffered for our sins in Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary that we do not have to be alone in our suffering, and so that we can turn our pain over to he who already suffered for us. It is also very powerful to me that pretending something was not "wrong", or "not that big a deal", or it was "just that once" may temporarily make us feel justified, but it cannot take away the burden and pain that inevitably follow sin.

"If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves."

The first thing that comes to mind when I read this passage is the invitation that Christ continually gave to others during his mortal ministry: "Come, follow me". That is what we should be doing - inviting ourselves and each other to be more like Christ. Since none of us are perfect, as he was, we will always find things we can either stop doing, or start doing in order to become more like him. As we both purge our lives of poor choices, and fill our lives with good choices we are choosing to repent. And we will become better people.

"Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. Surely the Lord smiles upon one who desires to come to judgment worthily, who resolutely labors day by day to replace weakness with strength."

What a concept! I have been striving to implement this idea this week. Of course I'm going to make mistakes. That is why God sent us to this earth - to learn through our experience. What God wants is for us to evaluate the choices we are making and continually strive to make better ones. Asking "for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome" means we know we have not been doing exactly what we should, it demonstrates a true desire to change (or repent), and it is an active way for us to use our agency.

"Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving."

What comfort this phrase brings to me! Instead of beating myself up when I make the same mistakes over and over again, I can remind myself that I am choosing to refine myself instead of choosing to give up on myself. Real change can, and will happen. But, it will not always be easy - or happen the first time we try.

"True repentance is not superficial."

Repentance requires a deep down, fundamental change. It means giving up habits and changing patters. It means literally becoming a new man (or woman!) through Christ - by choosing to become more like him. No, that is not superficial. So, superficial attempts will not work.

". . . whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness."

What a beautiful reminder - the whole talk is beautiful - you can read or listen to it: The Divine Gift of Repentance

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Those of your needs that you don't let show

I'm not usually very good at opening up to people. I've developed well my skills to listen and support. I've worked hard to become strong and have a great desire to become self-sufficient.

While my goal to be self-sufficient and to help other is good, I've also come to realie that in my life it is not in balance. Not allowing myself to open up, to trust others, and to allow them to ehlp me is actually slefish, and inhibits my own growth and hte growth of those around me.

It has become very clear to me that pride factors into my feelings and behavior.

There were times in my recent transitions that I was able to humble myself and open up, and some that lead to some very helpful advice and situations.

First, I did everything in my power to set up transitional housing (a necessity). At the last second, it fell through. I was stressed. I chose to open up and tell others my dilemma. A former roommate offered her parents home to me, other friends offered couches for varying lengths of times, and a family I knew offered a spare room. I felt so loved and watched out for.

Later, while still looking for a job, I visited my brother. At Church, the leader of his congregation talked about how important it is to let others know our situations if we expect to receive help. As someone responsible for the temporal well being of his congregation, he said "If you want to see me angry, let me be surprised by a crisis"

Again, I was reminded that keeping all our pain, trails, frustrations, or potential crisis to ourselves is not productive and puts those how could help us in a difficult situation. If we open up sooner, we minimize the likelihood that things will become a crisis - and we allow ourselves and others to grow.

These thoughts have been on my mind for some time. Glad I finally got them on paper - or cyberspace . . . and I hope they are cohesive :)

If not, read these lyrics that convey what I want to do for others and let them do for me:

Lean on me, Bill Withers

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me