Posts
- Easy to lose sight of the big picture and get caught up in the section you're working on
- Sometimes it doesn't make sense until all the pieces are in place
- Sometimes it feels like you have too many of too few pieces, but in the end it always works out
Monday, November 26, 2012
Jigsaw Puzzle
Life is like a jigsaw puzzle:
Sunday, November 25, 2012
What I put in my Grateful box this year
In an effort to raise my low spirits one day a while back, I borrowed an idea from a friend of mine and made a gratitude box. Late on Thanksgiving day, I read the following on the slips of paper I put in the gratitude box:
Pres. Thomas S. Monson captures this sentiment so well: "I have found that, rather than dwelling on the negative, if we will take a step back and consider the blessings in our lives, including seemingly small, sometimes overlooked blessings, we can find greater happiness...I would recommend this same exercise to you---namely, that you take an inventory of your life and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, you have received." (in Consider the Blessings)
- Books
- That my cousins can join us for the fishing trip on Labor Day
- Prayer
- Running into old friends
- That each day is a new beginning
- Good food with good friends
- Brothers
- Memories attached to songs
- For cell phones
- The ability to learn from and through others
- The temple
- Patience and love from others
- Memories and voice mails with the Halloween Ghost
- For a loving Bishop
- To have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life
- Running for the train and making it :)
- Modern day prophets (Elder Holland CES)
- Open mindedness
- The complexities of life
- That my parents taught me good money management skills
- Jen Martin
- Finding things you thought were lost
- TIME
- Tears. Not that I love crying so much as I love feeling and caring
- Medication
- The ability to pay off loans
- Roommates that are friends
- Emotions
- For Airplanes
- Changes in seasons
- Running water
- Choices
- Sleep
- A body that functions and provides an opportunity to learn how temporal and spiritual are connected
- David Zobell
- Thoughtful roommates
- Headphones
- Train rides
- Awesome adventures with great friends - like hot air ballooning with Mallori
- The ability to reason
- To have a good friend in Jen Martin
Pres. Thomas S. Monson captures this sentiment so well: "I have found that, rather than dwelling on the negative, if we will take a step back and consider the blessings in our lives, including seemingly small, sometimes overlooked blessings, we can find greater happiness...I would recommend this same exercise to you---namely, that you take an inventory of your life and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, you have received." (in Consider the Blessings)
Monday, November 19, 2012
Compliments
People usually mean them. You should accept them.
I'm starting to believe that not doing so is the same thing as calling the person who paid the compliment a liar. What a rude thing for me to do. I'm done throwing away/ deflecting compliments.
I'm starting to believe that not doing so is the same thing as calling the person who paid the compliment a liar. What a rude thing for me to do. I'm done throwing away/ deflecting compliments.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Beauty
Is what people repeatedly tell us true?
The answer is certainly, not always. But the reality is that what we repeatedly hear often starts to at least seem true. This week some random man on the street has told me I'm pretty every day this week (okay, so that's only been three days, but still a pattern I noticed today).
Honestly, attention like that mostly just makes me feel very uncomfortable (even when innocently given). It also makes me even less inclined to believe that what they are saying is true. Today the "beautiful lady" comment made me think of a scene from the movie The Kid.
Beauty, especially outward beauty is not something I feel I have. For the most part, I feel fine about that. What is inside is more important - and more lasting. I have felt this way for a long time. The other day I found this poem I wrote while in college along these lines:
I may not be gorgeous, but I can be beautiful.
Gorgeous is how you look
Beautiful is who you are.
It's not worth my time,
to try to change outside.
My time is better spent
grooming my insides.
A sincere smile,
A clear conscience,
A compassionate heart,
All things I can perfect.
Who I am inside
will affect others more deeply
than a flawless facade.
The answer is certainly, not always. But the reality is that what we repeatedly hear often starts to at least seem true. This week some random man on the street has told me I'm pretty every day this week (okay, so that's only been three days, but still a pattern I noticed today).
Honestly, attention like that mostly just makes me feel very uncomfortable (even when innocently given). It also makes me even less inclined to believe that what they are saying is true. Today the "beautiful lady" comment made me think of a scene from the movie The Kid.
Russ Duritz: Toshiya, let me ask you something. If you get called a jerk four times in a single day, does that make it true?Amy: What, only four? Did you get up late?Russ Duritz: Excuse me, I'm asking Toshiya.Toshia: Four times is a pattern. It have to be five times to be a fact.Russ Duritz: Thank you. See? There's hope after all.Amy: Jerk.
Beauty, especially outward beauty is not something I feel I have. For the most part, I feel fine about that. What is inside is more important - and more lasting. I have felt this way for a long time. The other day I found this poem I wrote while in college along these lines:
I may not be gorgeous, but I can be beautiful.
Gorgeous is how you look
Beautiful is who you are.
It's not worth my time,
to try to change outside.
My time is better spent
grooming my insides.
A sincere smile,
A clear conscience,
A compassionate heart,
All things I can perfect.
Who I am inside
will affect others more deeply
than a flawless facade.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Potential
Lately I've been near cripplingly focused on my shortcomings:
This morning as I was pondering it struck me that God's desire for us to repent, to change, to improve is rooted in our potential, not in our shortcomings. He doesn't want us to become better because we are terrible, but because we are capable of so much.
It may seem obvious to some or like an insignificant shift in perspective to others, but I think this change in the way I think about this will help me significantly in many ways.
- Things I'm not doing but should
- Things I'm doing but shouldn't
- How I don't measure up to others
- Things I need to fix in my life
This morning as I was pondering it struck me that God's desire for us to repent, to change, to improve is rooted in our potential, not in our shortcomings. He doesn't want us to become better because we are terrible, but because we are capable of so much.
It may seem obvious to some or like an insignificant shift in perspective to others, but I think this change in the way I think about this will help me significantly in many ways.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Seventy Times Seven
I've been thinking about repentance a lot lately. I've
been pondering what seems to me to be a paradox - the fact that we must forsake our sins as a
condition of repentance paired with the ability to be forgiven multiple times
for the same thing. If we have to forsake to be forgiven, than how can we be forgiven again if we do the same thing?
I don't think I fully understand that conundrum still, but as I have studied and pondered on this question, I have gained a few interesting insights.
One of the passages of scriptures that kept coming to my mind was where Jesus commands that we forgive someone 70 times 7 times:
21 ¶Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
- Matthew 18:21-22
If we have to forgive someone that many times, it means we can be forgiven that many times. And if we can be forgiven that many times, that means we have to (and can) repent that many times if necessary.
As I thought about this command more I realized something fascinating: 70 years is more or less an average life span and there are 7 days in a week. So in essence what Christ is asking is for us to forgive someone every single day of their entire life if they continue to sincerely repent.
I am grateful that the Atonement of Jesus Christ provides a way for me to continue to get up and brush off my seemingly inevitable mortal falls through repentance and start again. I am so grateful that I can partake of the sacrament each week to both renew my covenants (recommit to being perfect) and to once again be clean and pure.
I don't think I fully understand that conundrum still, but as I have studied and pondered on this question, I have gained a few interesting insights.
One of the passages of scriptures that kept coming to my mind was where Jesus commands that we forgive someone 70 times 7 times:
21 ¶Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
- Matthew 18:21-22
If we have to forgive someone that many times, it means we can be forgiven that many times. And if we can be forgiven that many times, that means we have to (and can) repent that many times if necessary.
As I thought about this command more I realized something fascinating: 70 years is more or less an average life span and there are 7 days in a week. So in essence what Christ is asking is for us to forgive someone every single day of their entire life if they continue to sincerely repent.
I am grateful that the Atonement of Jesus Christ provides a way for me to continue to get up and brush off my seemingly inevitable mortal falls through repentance and start again. I am so grateful that I can partake of the sacrament each week to both renew my covenants (recommit to being perfect) and to once again be clean and pure.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Just What I Needed to Hear
A friend of mine posted a quote and a link. I clicked on it and just listened to exactly what I needed to hear today from a BYU Devotional Elder Jeffery R Holland gave back in 1980:
For Times of Trouble
Do you ever feel untalented or incapable or inferior? Would it help you to know that everyone else feels that way too, including the prophets of God? Moses initially resisted his destiny, pleading that he was not eloquent in language. Jeremiah thought himself a child and was afraid of the faces he would meet.
And Enoch? I ask all of you to remember Enoch as long as you live. This is the young man who, when called to a seemingly impossible task, said, “Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, [I] am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech?” (Moses 6:31).
Enoch was a believer. He stiffened his spine and squared his shoulders and went stutteringly on his way. Plain old, ungifted, inferior Enoch. And this is what the angels would come to write of him:
And so great was the faith of Enoch that he led the people of God, and their enemies came to battle against them; and he spake the word of the Lord, and the earth trembled, and the mountains fled, even according to his command; and the rivers of water were turned out of their course; and the roar of the lions was heard out of the wilderness; and all nations feared greatly, so powerful was the word of Enoch, and so great was the power of the language which God had given him. [Moses 7:13]
Plain old, inadequate Enoch—whose name is now synonymous with transcendent righteousness. The next time you are tempted to paint your self-portrait dismal gray, highlighted with lackluster beige, just remember that in like manner have this kingdom’s most splendid men and women been tempted. I say to you as Joshua said to the tribes of Israel as they faced one of their most difficult tasks, “Sanctify yourselves: for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you” (Joshua 3:5).
There is, of course, one source of despair more serious than all the rest. It is linked with poor preparation of a far more serious order. It is the opposite of sanctification. It is the most destructive discouragement in time or eternity. It is transgression against God. It is depression embedded in sin.
Here your most crucial challenge, once you have recognized the seriousness of your mistakes, will be to believe that you can change, that there can be a different you. To disbelieve that is clearly a satanic device designed to discourage and defeat you. When you get home tonight, you fall on your knees and thank your Father in Heaven that you belong to a Church and have grasped a gospel that promises repentance to those who will pay the price. Repentance is not a foreboding word. It is following faith, the most encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. Repentance is simply the scriptural invitation for growth and improvement and progress and renewal. You can change! You can be anything you want to be in righteousness.
If there is one lament I cannot abide—and I hear it from adults as well as students—it is the poor, pitiful, withered cry, “Well, that’s just the way I am.” If you want to talk about discouragement, that phrase is one that discourages me. Though not a swearing man, I am always sorely tempted to try my hand when I hear that. Please spare me your speeches about “That’s just the way I am.” I’ve heard that from too many people who wanted to sin and call it psychology. And I use the word sin again to cover a vast range of habits, some seemingly innocent enough, that nevertheless bring discouragement and doubt and despair.
You can change anything you want to change, and you can do it very fast. That’s another satanic suckerpunch—that it takes years and years and eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it. Of course there will be problems to work out and restitutions to make. You may well spend—indeed you had better spend—the rest of your life proving your repentance by its permanence. But change, growth, renewal, and repentance can come for you as instantaneously as for Alma and the sons of Mosiah. Even if you have serious amends to make, it is not likely that you would qualify for the term, “the vilest of sinners,” which is the phrase Mormon uses in describing these young men. Yet as Alma recounts his own experience in the thirty-sixth chapter of the book that bears his name, his repentance appears to have been as instantaneous as it was stunning.
Do not misunderstand. Repentance is not easy or painless or convenient. It is a bitter cup from Hell. But only Satan, who dwells there, would have you think that a necessary and required acknowledgment is more distasteful than permanent residence. Only he would say, “You can’t change. You won’t change. It’s too long and too hard to change. Give up. Give in. Don’t repent. You are just the way you are.” That, my friends, is a lie born of desperation. Don’t fall for it.
...In this Church we ask for faith, not infallibility.
For Times of Trouble
Do you ever feel untalented or incapable or inferior? Would it help you to know that everyone else feels that way too, including the prophets of God? Moses initially resisted his destiny, pleading that he was not eloquent in language. Jeremiah thought himself a child and was afraid of the faces he would meet.
And Enoch? I ask all of you to remember Enoch as long as you live. This is the young man who, when called to a seemingly impossible task, said, “Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, [I] am but a lad, and all the people hate me; for I am slow of speech?” (Moses 6:31).
Enoch was a believer. He stiffened his spine and squared his shoulders and went stutteringly on his way. Plain old, ungifted, inferior Enoch. And this is what the angels would come to write of him:
And so great was the faith of Enoch that he led the people of God, and their enemies came to battle against them; and he spake the word of the Lord, and the earth trembled, and the mountains fled, even according to his command; and the rivers of water were turned out of their course; and the roar of the lions was heard out of the wilderness; and all nations feared greatly, so powerful was the word of Enoch, and so great was the power of the language which God had given him. [Moses 7:13]
Plain old, inadequate Enoch—whose name is now synonymous with transcendent righteousness. The next time you are tempted to paint your self-portrait dismal gray, highlighted with lackluster beige, just remember that in like manner have this kingdom’s most splendid men and women been tempted. I say to you as Joshua said to the tribes of Israel as they faced one of their most difficult tasks, “Sanctify yourselves: for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you” (Joshua 3:5).
There is, of course, one source of despair more serious than all the rest. It is linked with poor preparation of a far more serious order. It is the opposite of sanctification. It is the most destructive discouragement in time or eternity. It is transgression against God. It is depression embedded in sin.
Here your most crucial challenge, once you have recognized the seriousness of your mistakes, will be to believe that you can change, that there can be a different you. To disbelieve that is clearly a satanic device designed to discourage and defeat you. When you get home tonight, you fall on your knees and thank your Father in Heaven that you belong to a Church and have grasped a gospel that promises repentance to those who will pay the price. Repentance is not a foreboding word. It is following faith, the most encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary. Repentance is simply the scriptural invitation for growth and improvement and progress and renewal. You can change! You can be anything you want to be in righteousness.
If there is one lament I cannot abide—and I hear it from adults as well as students—it is the poor, pitiful, withered cry, “Well, that’s just the way I am.” If you want to talk about discouragement, that phrase is one that discourages me. Though not a swearing man, I am always sorely tempted to try my hand when I hear that. Please spare me your speeches about “That’s just the way I am.” I’ve heard that from too many people who wanted to sin and call it psychology. And I use the word sin again to cover a vast range of habits, some seemingly innocent enough, that nevertheless bring discouragement and doubt and despair.
You can change anything you want to change, and you can do it very fast. That’s another satanic suckerpunch—that it takes years and years and eons of eternity to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it. Of course there will be problems to work out and restitutions to make. You may well spend—indeed you had better spend—the rest of your life proving your repentance by its permanence. But change, growth, renewal, and repentance can come for you as instantaneously as for Alma and the sons of Mosiah. Even if you have serious amends to make, it is not likely that you would qualify for the term, “the vilest of sinners,” which is the phrase Mormon uses in describing these young men. Yet as Alma recounts his own experience in the thirty-sixth chapter of the book that bears his name, his repentance appears to have been as instantaneous as it was stunning.
Do not misunderstand. Repentance is not easy or painless or convenient. It is a bitter cup from Hell. But only Satan, who dwells there, would have you think that a necessary and required acknowledgment is more distasteful than permanent residence. Only he would say, “You can’t change. You won’t change. It’s too long and too hard to change. Give up. Give in. Don’t repent. You are just the way you are.” That, my friends, is a lie born of desperation. Don’t fall for it.
...In this Church we ask for faith, not infallibility.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
A New Perspective on an Old Thought
A couple weeks ago at church one of the speakers talked about how we can get stuck thinking the same thoughts and getting the same insight when we read the same passages of scriptures. He suggested this is particularly true if we read the same copy and we have written notes or highlighted verses. I had an experience that made me think there may be some truth to that.
Towards the end of July I participated in a Youth Conference as a leader. One of the speakers challenged the youth to read The Book of Mormon from cover to cover in the month of July. I thought to myself, "that's a great goal for them" and then started to realize that it would be a good goal for me too. This was a daunting task - 531 pages in about 27 days (I started late...) and I knew I would have to read on the train rides to and from work to make this happen. So, I read from a pocket sized edition that I haven't read before and marked up.
All that is a long introduction to one of the insights I had during that intense and rewarding experience in July.
I was reading in 3 Nephi 13 where the Savior is teaching the people on the American continent after his Crucifixion and Resurrection. In verse 24 he says:
"No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon."
In the past, I have always felt disheartened by this verse of scripture. I know that I am far from perfect and am acutely aware of my own short comings and all the mistakes I make. I have often wondered if I am a bad person pretending to be good. I have often felt that if I were clinging to God I would not do many of the things that I do, and thus, by deduction, I must cling to/ serve Mammon.
However, as I read this verse this time I realized that I could just as easily be holding to God and despising the times that I fall short and choose to do something that serves Mammon instead of God.
It also caused me to take a step back. I feel that I am very willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and that I want to assume that people are doing the best they can and that they don't mean any harm. I want others to feel loved, and I truly believe that everyone can change and that we all deserve second chances. And I realized that this must be true for me as well. I have to give myself a second (or tenth, or 100th) chance and I have to keep striving to continually serve God and turn back to God every time I find myself moving away.
Towards the end of July I participated in a Youth Conference as a leader. One of the speakers challenged the youth to read The Book of Mormon from cover to cover in the month of July. I thought to myself, "that's a great goal for them" and then started to realize that it would be a good goal for me too. This was a daunting task - 531 pages in about 27 days (I started late...) and I knew I would have to read on the train rides to and from work to make this happen. So, I read from a pocket sized edition that I haven't read before and marked up.
All that is a long introduction to one of the insights I had during that intense and rewarding experience in July.
I was reading in 3 Nephi 13 where the Savior is teaching the people on the American continent after his Crucifixion and Resurrection. In verse 24 he says:
"No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon."
In the past, I have always felt disheartened by this verse of scripture. I know that I am far from perfect and am acutely aware of my own short comings and all the mistakes I make. I have often wondered if I am a bad person pretending to be good. I have often felt that if I were clinging to God I would not do many of the things that I do, and thus, by deduction, I must cling to/ serve Mammon.
However, as I read this verse this time I realized that I could just as easily be holding to God and despising the times that I fall short and choose to do something that serves Mammon instead of God.
It also caused me to take a step back. I feel that I am very willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and that I want to assume that people are doing the best they can and that they don't mean any harm. I want others to feel loved, and I truly believe that everyone can change and that we all deserve second chances. And I realized that this must be true for me as well. I have to give myself a second (or tenth, or 100th) chance and I have to keep striving to continually serve God and turn back to God every time I find myself moving away.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Focus on the big picture or details?
I was invited to participate in a fundraising breakfast for
an organization that seeks to reform the prison system in America with a
particular focus on helping the families affected by a family member being
incarcerated. Throughout my higher education experience I have often thought of
this part of our society and it breaks my heart. When I was transitioning
between jobs last time I even put effort into finding something related to the
prison/ juvenile justice system and was (and still kind of am) considering
finding a career along those lines.
Throughout the morning there were several speakers –
including a mother who has been incarcerated for money laundering and her son
who was about to graduate from high school. The various speakers said several
things that have really stuck with me and really impacted me when I heard them.
In the beginning there was an invocation offered by a local
rabbi. He had many wonderful and wise things to say, but the one that has
stayed with me was his closing request that we “live in righteousness and
faith.”
Then the organization was introduced. It was praised for its
holistic vision, touted as an organization that “speaks truth to power” and
praised for being “champions of freedom” – sounds pretty cool to me. Then the
phrase that really got me – “We don’t just advocate for families, we advocate
for policies that support families.” In my academic pursuits and now in my
career pursuits I’m always struggling with that balance – being able to make a
difference right now in the lives of children and families and working to make
the structure we work in a better one to set more people up for long term
success. Where and how are my specific talents and energies going to be best
utilized? Where can I have the biggest, longest lasting impact? Questions that can
start making me crazy…
After we ate, the mother mentioned above talked about what
her life was like – how it appeared perfect from the outside, but really her
marriage was falling apart and her husband was having her participate in
illegal activities to maintain his habits. As she put it “appearances can hide
a lot.” It is so tempting to think we know what others are going through or to
think that lives are perfect because of what we can see. However, I have
learned over and over again that usually people have pain, sadness, loneliness,
fear, regret or other things hidden behind their brave smiles and seemingly
calm and put together exteriors. I think
we could avoid a lot of negative situations if we were more aware of those
around us and willing to provide kindness and acceptance and support for those
we come in contact with.
It seems to me that no matter what I do for a living, it is
important to create opportunities to make a difference right now in the lives
of those around me. And maintaining my faith and hope in each individual and
their ability to become better small steps at a time and expressing love to
each person I interact with are powerful ways to support them.
As someone I overheard on the phone at a park said, just do something, anything and then learn as you go. Great advice :)
Thursday, June 7, 2012
When I grow up I want to be . . .
A friend of mine invited me to come to a music symposium about “choosing the life of a musician” and I was intrigued. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I like music, and I like new experiences, so I went.
The idea was that these musicians would preform songs and before and after (and sometimes in the middle) of their pieces they would talk about how they got where they are and why they chose to be a musician.
It was really cool.
One of the ideas that one of the musicians shared that really struck me was that as you know someone better, you relate more to what they play, and how they play, and then the music means more to you.
I thought back to some of the experiences I have had sitting in my living rooms in various apartments listening to someone I know play the guitar. Or growing up and listening to my brothers play the piano. Those were very different experiences than listening to the radio, or even being at a concert in a large hall. As I have thought more about it, I think it has a lot to do with my knowing the people who were playing.
At this specific living room performance, I was really moved by some of the ideas shared. One pianist spoke about his initial desire to learn to play the piano – to show medical schools that he had manual dexterity. He was a double chemistry and piano major. At one point he realized that if he kept doing both he would not be able to do either well.
Another performer who had more years of experiences than most of the other musicians talked about how she decided to pursue her career in music later in life – a decision she made when she was about the age of the rest of the performers. She said she made her decision knowing that she would never have the advantages and probably never reach the same heights as those who started younger. But she also knew that anything she kept doing she would eventually be good at. Maybe not amazing, but good (a distinction I LOVE - and has gotten me thinking that not everything has to be amazing or the best ever to be worth it and incredible moving or helpful to others). She has kept pushing and practicing and I personally think she has incredible skill.
Those two thoughts are interesting juxtapositions to me. On one hand, we can only do so much, and the more we try to do the less time we can give to any one task. This forces us to make choices about how to spend our time. On the other hand, we have the choice to pursue so many things – any number of which we can become very proficient at.
I walk away from this knowing that I must make some decisions. And realizing that the reality is I can make almost any choice I want to and, as long as I passionately pursue it, I'll likely find fulfillment and find opportunities to share what I love with others.
The idea was that these musicians would preform songs and before and after (and sometimes in the middle) of their pieces they would talk about how they got where they are and why they chose to be a musician.
It was really cool.
One of the ideas that one of the musicians shared that really struck me was that as you know someone better, you relate more to what they play, and how they play, and then the music means more to you.
I thought back to some of the experiences I have had sitting in my living rooms in various apartments listening to someone I know play the guitar. Or growing up and listening to my brothers play the piano. Those were very different experiences than listening to the radio, or even being at a concert in a large hall. As I have thought more about it, I think it has a lot to do with my knowing the people who were playing.
At this specific living room performance, I was really moved by some of the ideas shared. One pianist spoke about his initial desire to learn to play the piano – to show medical schools that he had manual dexterity. He was a double chemistry and piano major. At one point he realized that if he kept doing both he would not be able to do either well.
Another performer who had more years of experiences than most of the other musicians talked about how she decided to pursue her career in music later in life – a decision she made when she was about the age of the rest of the performers. She said she made her decision knowing that she would never have the advantages and probably never reach the same heights as those who started younger. But she also knew that anything she kept doing she would eventually be good at. Maybe not amazing, but good (a distinction I LOVE - and has gotten me thinking that not everything has to be amazing or the best ever to be worth it and incredible moving or helpful to others). She has kept pushing and practicing and I personally think she has incredible skill.
Those two thoughts are interesting juxtapositions to me. On one hand, we can only do so much, and the more we try to do the less time we can give to any one task. This forces us to make choices about how to spend our time. On the other hand, we have the choice to pursue so many things – any number of which we can become very proficient at.
I walk away from this knowing that I must make some decisions. And realizing that the reality is I can make almost any choice I want to and, as long as I passionately pursue it, I'll likely find fulfillment and find opportunities to share what I love with others.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Leaving Lighter
Yesterday was my first day back working my shift at the Temple after my vacation. The Temple is a beautiful place, and I had missed the peace I feel there and the opportunity to work and serve with wonderful, dedicated individuals.
Since I had been gone for several weeks, I had brought my clothing home to clean and not take up space in the locker room. Naturally, I had to bring them back to use them again. So, I went into the temple with a small purse and a larger bag with my clothing.
Being back was like coming home in all the best ways possible. Seeing familiar faces and knowing that I was needed and appreciated was rewarding. Assisting those who came to the Temple to worship and serve reminded me of the purpose behind giving up so much of my time on Saturday's. I couldn't stop smiling and I often reflected on how grateful I am to have this assignment at this time.
Then it was time to leave for the evening. As I got on the elevator I realized I was traveling much lighter. I only had my small purse since my bag with my clothing was in the locker room waiting for next week. I thought about how grateful I was to be traveling lighter, and how nice it was to leave that baggage behind.
It struck me that that is one of the purposes of coming to the Temple - to leave our worries and cares behind, to become lighter. We enter the doors full of concerns or fears or disappointments or heartaches or questions. We then worship God and are reminded of the purpose of this life. We have time to be taught and time to reflect. We end our time in the Temple in silent prayer, pondering and reflection. Then we can leave emotionally lighter. What a beautiful thing!
I am reminded of a passage of scripture in the New Testament:
28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Since I had been gone for several weeks, I had brought my clothing home to clean and not take up space in the locker room. Naturally, I had to bring them back to use them again. So, I went into the temple with a small purse and a larger bag with my clothing.
Being back was like coming home in all the best ways possible. Seeing familiar faces and knowing that I was needed and appreciated was rewarding. Assisting those who came to the Temple to worship and serve reminded me of the purpose behind giving up so much of my time on Saturday's. I couldn't stop smiling and I often reflected on how grateful I am to have this assignment at this time.
Then it was time to leave for the evening. As I got on the elevator I realized I was traveling much lighter. I only had my small purse since my bag with my clothing was in the locker room waiting for next week. I thought about how grateful I was to be traveling lighter, and how nice it was to leave that baggage behind.
It struck me that that is one of the purposes of coming to the Temple - to leave our worries and cares behind, to become lighter. We enter the doors full of concerns or fears or disappointments or heartaches or questions. We then worship God and are reminded of the purpose of this life. We have time to be taught and time to reflect. We end our time in the Temple in silent prayer, pondering and reflection. Then we can leave emotionally lighter. What a beautiful thing!
I am reminded of a passage of scripture in the New Testament:
28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Why Read?
I LOVE to read. And I've been able to do a lot more of it in the past couple weeks than I have in a long time. So much so that I was almost tired of reading. Gasp, I can't believe I just typed that, or that I ever thought it!
As I was putting down the book I was reading on the bus home for a little break, I got to thinking about why I like to read, here is what I came up with:
- To slow down
- To escape
- To learn
- To grow
- To discover
- To experience
- For fun
- To pass the time
- To feel
- Because I love it
- To learn how others think/ feel
- To become someone else
- To visit a new place/ time
- To forget
- To remember
I'm sure there are many more reasons and I know there are different reasons I read different types of books. I also realized that taking a break to think and process what was read and how it relates to life and other things I've read is just as enjoyable as reading itself ...
Now I want to know, why do you read?
As I was putting down the book I was reading on the bus home for a little break, I got to thinking about why I like to read, here is what I came up with:
- To slow down
- To escape
- To learn
- To grow
- To discover
- To experience
- For fun
- To pass the time
- To feel
- Because I love it
- To learn how others think/ feel
- To become someone else
- To visit a new place/ time
- To forget
- To remember
I'm sure there are many more reasons and I know there are different reasons I read different types of books. I also realized that taking a break to think and process what was read and how it relates to life and other things I've read is just as enjoyable as reading itself ...
Now I want to know, why do you read?
Saturday, May 26, 2012
You just don't understand
This concept has come up a few times in the books I've been reading lately and in conversations and thoughts I've had.
It's true. I don't understand what it's like to grow up in different circumstances. I don't understand why people think, say, and do some of the things they do. I don't understand how things make people feel, and I don't know the experiences they have had in their lives that lead to those feelings or reactions.
That does not, however, mean that I don't want to, or that I'm not trying to.
What I have wished lately is that I could understand more. And that people would help each other understand more - trust and share and be willing to be vulnerable sometimes so that people can understand more.
It's true. I don't understand what it's like to grow up in different circumstances. I don't understand why people think, say, and do some of the things they do. I don't understand how things make people feel, and I don't know the experiences they have had in their lives that lead to those feelings or reactions.
That does not, however, mean that I don't want to, or that I'm not trying to.
What I have wished lately is that I could understand more. And that people would help each other understand more - trust and share and be willing to be vulnerable sometimes so that people can understand more.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Strengthened to Abound?
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13
This has been a very familiar scripture to me. When I was in college I worked in our Financial Aid Department and they had a little book of quotes/ scriptures that I read sometimes when things were slow. This verse is one I actually have memorized. I find it to be very powerful. Sometimes I believe it more fully than others and act on it more or less successfully at various points in my life. However, I have never known it in context till now.
In my mind verse 13 had always meant "I can do hard things" or "Christ will make difficult things easier for me as I rely on him."
I think that is still true. Now I also think there is much more to this verse. Christ can help us be content with ANY circumstances. I do not believe that means he wants us to settle for mediocre. Nor do I think that means we are not expected to work hard or push through incredibly difficult things to come out stronger on the other side. I do think these verses are teaching us that Christ can help us navigate life successfully - no matter what is currently being placed before us, or what is placed in front of us in the future.
Along this vein - some people really want a lot of money. I never have. I have always said money is a curse I don't want to deal with and a burden I don't want to hand down to my children. I do want enough money to live comfortably, and to be able to have some wonderful experiences, but I just have never wanted to have so much money it can be taken for granted and a high standard of living is expected. But Paul just taught me "I know how to abound" and "I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry." So, through Christ, I could successfully navigate both remaining humble while having a lot and not becoming bitter if I do not.
I like verse 13 even more now that I have some added context and deeper understanding about it. I hope to more fully rely on Christ in all things and allow him to instruct and strengthen me.
This has been a very familiar scripture to me. When I was in college I worked in our Financial Aid Department and they had a little book of quotes/ scriptures that I read sometimes when things were slow. This verse is one I actually have memorized. I find it to be very powerful. Sometimes I believe it more fully than others and act on it more or less successfully at various points in my life. However, I have never known it in context till now.
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound; every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:11-13
In my mind verse 13 had always meant "I can do hard things" or "Christ will make difficult things easier for me as I rely on him."
I think that is still true. Now I also think there is much more to this verse. Christ can help us be content with ANY circumstances. I do not believe that means he wants us to settle for mediocre. Nor do I think that means we are not expected to work hard or push through incredibly difficult things to come out stronger on the other side. I do think these verses are teaching us that Christ can help us navigate life successfully - no matter what is currently being placed before us, or what is placed in front of us in the future.
Along this vein - some people really want a lot of money. I never have. I have always said money is a curse I don't want to deal with and a burden I don't want to hand down to my children. I do want enough money to live comfortably, and to be able to have some wonderful experiences, but I just have never wanted to have so much money it can be taken for granted and a high standard of living is expected. But Paul just taught me "I know how to abound" and "I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry." So, through Christ, I could successfully navigate both remaining humble while having a lot and not becoming bitter if I do not.
I like verse 13 even more now that I have some added context and deeper understanding about it. I hope to more fully rely on Christ in all things and allow him to instruct and strengthen me.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Lessons Learned at Westminster Abbey
Today after attending worship services at an LDS chapel near Hyde Park my travel buddy, a friend from another phase of life, and an acquaintance of my travel buddy who we randomly ran into went and explored a bit. We decided to participate in Evensong at Westminster Abbey.
As we walked down the hall, I noticed a beautiful alter cover that had "All Shall Be Well" stitched into the side. A feeling a peace entered my heart. Indeed, all shall be well. On this journey, I have been continually reminded of how blessed I am. How grateful I am for my wonderful life and the myriad of opportunities that I have enjoyed thus far in my life.
As part of the service, those in attendance faced east and recited The Apostles' Creed:
While I can't say I agree with everything above, there is so much in this passage that rings true with what I personally believe, and that is so beautifully put. I find the lines "was crucified, dead and buried; he descended into hell; the third day he rose again from the dead and ascended into heaven" particularly moving.
I believe that is true. As Peter said in 1 Peter 3:19: "...he went and preached to the spirits in prison". I believe that after death our souls go to a spirit world and that world is divided into a spirit prison and a spirit paradise. It seems very likely to me these are not necessarily different physical locations, but are denoted by a mental and emotional feeling our souls have based on our choices during our moral life and the increased knowledge we gain as we leave this life. I also thought about some of the words of Joseph F Smith on this subject found in Doctrine and Covenants 138. I am incredibly grateful that Jesus Christ was willing to descend below all things so that each of us has the opportunity to choose to rise above all things through the aid of His atoning sacrifice!
As we were waiting for the Evensong to begin, I was reading the front of the program which included the following "Whether you are Anglican (Episcopalian), or of another Christian Church or of another faith, or seeking or doubting, you are warmly welcome to take part in the service."
To me, that reflects the life and role that Christ embodied while on this earth. "Come unto me", "blessed are the poor in spirit", "my peace I leave with you" - all invitations expressing that we are welcome.
Thank you Westminster Abbey for making me welcome, for speaking to my soul and deepening my faith in Jesus Christ (and for the beautiful music, sermon and architecture!)
As we walked down the hall, I noticed a beautiful alter cover that had "All Shall Be Well" stitched into the side. A feeling a peace entered my heart. Indeed, all shall be well. On this journey, I have been continually reminded of how blessed I am. How grateful I am for my wonderful life and the myriad of opportunities that I have enjoyed thus far in my life.
As part of the service, those in attendance faced east and recited The Apostles' Creed:
I believe in God the Father Almighty,
Maker of heaven and earth;
and in Jesus Christ his only Son, our Lord,
who was conceived by the Holy Ghost,
born of the Virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead and buried;
he descended into hell;
the third day he rose again from the dead,
he ascended into heaven,
and sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
from thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Ghost;
the holy catholic Church;
the communion of saints;
the forgiveness of sins;
the resurrection of the body;
and the life everlasting. Amen.
While I can't say I agree with everything above, there is so much in this passage that rings true with what I personally believe, and that is so beautifully put. I find the lines "was crucified, dead and buried; he descended into hell; the third day he rose again from the dead and ascended into heaven" particularly moving.
I believe that is true. As Peter said in 1 Peter 3:19: "...he went and preached to the spirits in prison". I believe that after death our souls go to a spirit world and that world is divided into a spirit prison and a spirit paradise. It seems very likely to me these are not necessarily different physical locations, but are denoted by a mental and emotional feeling our souls have based on our choices during our moral life and the increased knowledge we gain as we leave this life. I also thought about some of the words of Joseph F Smith on this subject found in Doctrine and Covenants 138. I am incredibly grateful that Jesus Christ was willing to descend below all things so that each of us has the opportunity to choose to rise above all things through the aid of His atoning sacrifice!
As we were waiting for the Evensong to begin, I was reading the front of the program which included the following "Whether you are Anglican (Episcopalian), or of another Christian Church or of another faith, or seeking or doubting, you are warmly welcome to take part in the service."
To me, that reflects the life and role that Christ embodied while on this earth. "Come unto me", "blessed are the poor in spirit", "my peace I leave with you" - all invitations expressing that we are welcome.
Thank you Westminster Abbey for making me welcome, for speaking to my soul and deepening my faith in Jesus Christ (and for the beautiful music, sermon and architecture!)
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Pretend It's You
Whoopi Goldberg taught me a new way to think about an old topic - The Golden Rule.
In a book of hers I just read that was basically a collection of her social commentary on things that annoy her (from drunk driving to bullying to talking in a movie theater) she often repeated the phrase "pretend it's you".
I love that thought.
Pretend it is you:
- who will be coming into the airplane bathroom next
- who is trying to get on (or off) the train (or elevator or bus)
- when you are tempted to say something mean or demeaning to someone else
- when you comment on someones appearance
This thought gives me a way to operationalize the goal to "do unto others as you would have others to unto you"
Any other ideas of when you should "pretend it's you"?
In a book of hers I just read that was basically a collection of her social commentary on things that annoy her (from drunk driving to bullying to talking in a movie theater) she often repeated the phrase "pretend it's you".
I love that thought.
Pretend it is you:
- who will be coming into the airplane bathroom next
- who is trying to get on (or off) the train (or elevator or bus)
- when you are tempted to say something mean or demeaning to someone else
- when you comment on someones appearance
This thought gives me a way to operationalize the goal to "do unto others as you would have others to unto you"
Any other ideas of when you should "pretend it's you"?
Sunday, April 8, 2012
What I Want to Be
A friend of mine told me that he recently fell in love with a song called "Someone to Fall Back On" so I looked it up, and I fell in love too.
The lyrics from this song capture what I want to be. Or the way I want to be perceived. I want to be strong enough to support others. I want to not care about how I may appear from a distance. I want to be aware of the struggles and sorrows of others and do my part to share and lift their burdens.
I also want to get better at realizing that we don't really need much - but we all do need someone to "fall back on" or lean on or trust or who is just there for us no matter what.
Here are the lyrics (AKA my new mission statement):
I am no prince, I am no saint, I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind and be someone to fall back on.
Some comedy-- You're bruised and beaten down
And I'm the one who's looking for a favor.
Still, honestly, you don't believe me
But the things I have are the things you need.
You look at me like I don't make sense,
Like a waste of time, like it serves no purpose -
I am no prince, I am no saint, & if that's what you believe you need,
You're wrong - you don't need much, you need someone to fall back on
And I'll be that, I'll take your side.
If I'm the only one, I'm used to that.
I've been alone, I'd rather be
The half of us, the least of you, the best of me.
And I will be your prince, I'll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences
In your name. I will, I swear -
I'll be someone to fall back on!
I'll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you'll let me,
I will be the one you need.
I'll be someone to fall back on your prince, your saint,
The one you believe you need
I'll be - I'll be someone to fall back on.
The lyrics from this song capture what I want to be. Or the way I want to be perceived. I want to be strong enough to support others. I want to not care about how I may appear from a distance. I want to be aware of the struggles and sorrows of others and do my part to share and lift their burdens.
I also want to get better at realizing that we don't really need much - but we all do need someone to "fall back on" or lean on or trust or who is just there for us no matter what.
Here are the lyrics (AKA my new mission statement):
I am no prince, I am no saint, I am not anyone's wildest dream,
But I can stand behind and be someone to fall back on.
Some comedy-- You're bruised and beaten down
And I'm the one who's looking for a favor.
Still, honestly, you don't believe me
But the things I have are the things you need.
You look at me like I don't make sense,
Like a waste of time, like it serves no purpose -
I am no prince, I am no saint, & if that's what you believe you need,
You're wrong - you don't need much, you need someone to fall back on
And I'll be that, I'll take your side.
If I'm the only one, I'm used to that.
I've been alone, I'd rather be
The half of us, the least of you, the best of me.
And I will be your prince, I'll be your saint,
I will go crashing through fences
In your name. I will, I swear -
I'll be someone to fall back on!
I'll be the one who waits,
And for as long as you'll let me,
I will be the one you need.
I'll be someone to fall back on your prince, your saint,
The one you believe you need
I'll be - I'll be someone to fall back on.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Just Enough
Something I've been observing about myself lately is that I care just enough to be saddened by, intrigued about, or frustrated because of things, but not enough to actually do anything about them.
Take for example the flute and piano - I like to think that I love them and want to play them. Do I play either one well? No. Do I do anything about that? No. Sigh.
Maybe this public forum isn't the place to write, or think aloud if you will, about such things. But, there is a part of me that hopes that by putting this out there publicly I'll gain the motivation to do something about something.
Take for example the flute and piano - I like to think that I love them and want to play them. Do I play either one well? No. Do I do anything about that? No. Sigh.
Maybe this public forum isn't the place to write, or think aloud if you will, about such things. But, there is a part of me that hopes that by putting this out there publicly I'll gain the motivation to do something about something.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Rejoice in Repentance
"Repentance is a divine gift, and there should be a smile on our faces when we speak of it. It points us to freedom, confidence, and peace."
Last week in Church all the talks in Sacrament Meeting were about repentance. These were great reminders to me and I was inspired to re-listen to a talk on repentance from last October's General Conference by Elder D. Todd Christofferson. The quote above and the quotes below come from this talk.
"Without repentance, there is no real progress or improvement in life."
This phrase has really helped me feel that we should rejoice in repentance - I want to progress and improve. I want to remove guilt or shame from my life. I want to know that my Heavenly Father is pleased with me and the choices I'm currently making. I know that repentance is what helps me fee the peace that I crave.
"Pretending there is no sin does not lessen its burden and pain. Suffering for sin does not by itself change anything for the better. Only repentance leads to the sunlit uplands of a better life. And, of course, only through repentance do we gain access to the atoning grace of Jesus Christ and salvation."
This quote stopped me in my tracks. I'll admit - there are times when I think suffering is exactly what I should do if I do something wrong. I'm reminded that I have repeatedly been taught that Christ suffered for our sins in Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary that we do not have to be alone in our suffering, and so that we can turn our pain over to he who already suffered for us. It is also very powerful to me that pretending something was not "wrong", or "not that big a deal", or it was "just that once" may temporarily make us feel justified, but it cannot take away the burden and pain that inevitably follow sin.
"If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves."
The first thing that comes to mind when I read this passage is the invitation that Christ continually gave to others during his mortal ministry: "Come, follow me". That is what we should be doing - inviting ourselves and each other to be more like Christ. Since none of us are perfect, as he was, we will always find things we can either stop doing, or start doing in order to become more like him. As we both purge our lives of poor choices, and fill our lives with good choices we are choosing to repent. And we will become better people.
"Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. Surely the Lord smiles upon one who desires to come to judgment worthily, who resolutely labors day by day to replace weakness with strength."
What a concept! I have been striving to implement this idea this week. Of course I'm going to make mistakes. That is why God sent us to this earth - to learn through our experience. What God wants is for us to evaluate the choices we are making and continually strive to make better ones. Asking "for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome" means we know we have not been doing exactly what we should, it demonstrates a true desire to change (or repent), and it is an active way for us to use our agency.
"Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving."
What comfort this phrase brings to me! Instead of beating myself up when I make the same mistakes over and over again, I can remind myself that I am choosing to refine myself instead of choosing to give up on myself. Real change can, and will happen. But, it will not always be easy - or happen the first time we try.
"True repentance is not superficial."
Repentance requires a deep down, fundamental change. It means giving up habits and changing patters. It means literally becoming a new man (or woman!) through Christ - by choosing to become more like him. No, that is not superficial. So, superficial attempts will not work.
". . . whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness."
What a beautiful reminder - the whole talk is beautiful - you can read or listen to it: The Divine Gift of Repentance
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Those of your needs that you don't let show
I'm not usually very good at opening up to people. I've developed well my skills to listen and support. I've worked hard to become strong and have a great desire to become self-sufficient.
While my goal to be self-sufficient and to help other is good, I've also come to realie that in my life it is not in balance. Not allowing myself to open up, to trust others, and to allow them to ehlp me is actually slefish, and inhibits my own growth and hte growth of those around me.
It has become very clear to me that pride factors into my feelings and behavior.
There were times in my recent transitions that I was able to humble myself and open up, and some that lead to some very helpful advice and situations.
First, I did everything in my power to set up transitional housing (a necessity). At the last second, it fell through. I was stressed. I chose to open up and tell others my dilemma. A former roommate offered her parents home to me, other friends offered couches for varying lengths of times, and a family I knew offered a spare room. I felt so loved and watched out for.
Later, while still looking for a job, I visited my brother. At Church, the leader of his congregation talked about how important it is to let others know our situations if we expect to receive help. As someone responsible for the temporal well being of his congregation, he said "If you want to see me angry, let me be surprised by a crisis"
Again, I was reminded that keeping all our pain, trails, frustrations, or potential crisis to ourselves is not productive and puts those how could help us in a difficult situation. If we open up sooner, we minimize the likelihood that things will become a crisis - and we allow ourselves and others to grow.
These thoughts have been on my mind for some time. Glad I finally got them on paper - or cyberspace . . . and I hope they are cohesive :)
If not, read these lyrics that convey what I want to do for others and let them do for me:
Lean on me, Bill Withers
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
While my goal to be self-sufficient and to help other is good, I've also come to realie that in my life it is not in balance. Not allowing myself to open up, to trust others, and to allow them to ehlp me is actually slefish, and inhibits my own growth and hte growth of those around me.
It has become very clear to me that pride factors into my feelings and behavior.
There were times in my recent transitions that I was able to humble myself and open up, and some that lead to some very helpful advice and situations.
First, I did everything in my power to set up transitional housing (a necessity). At the last second, it fell through. I was stressed. I chose to open up and tell others my dilemma. A former roommate offered her parents home to me, other friends offered couches for varying lengths of times, and a family I knew offered a spare room. I felt so loved and watched out for.
Later, while still looking for a job, I visited my brother. At Church, the leader of his congregation talked about how important it is to let others know our situations if we expect to receive help. As someone responsible for the temporal well being of his congregation, he said "If you want to see me angry, let me be surprised by a crisis"
Again, I was reminded that keeping all our pain, trails, frustrations, or potential crisis to ourselves is not productive and puts those how could help us in a difficult situation. If we open up sooner, we minimize the likelihood that things will become a crisis - and we allow ourselves and others to grow.
These thoughts have been on my mind for some time. Glad I finally got them on paper - or cyberspace . . . and I hope they are cohesive :)
If not, read these lyrics that convey what I want to do for others and let them do for me:
Lean on me, Bill Withers
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on
If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
Friday, February 10, 2012
Whether it's a bookmark or a quarter, God cares
I can't go to bed without sharing this one.
A few days ago I got a package in the mail from my family that included a magnetic bookmark my brother brought home for me from Russia. I LOVED it the moment I saw it. I was so excited that I started using it immediately.
Tonight as I was getting on the elevator I went to move the bookmark from towards the end of the book back to mark my place. It was gone.
I wanted to cry (in fact, my eyes did tear up a bit . . .) and I had to call my brother, who I hadn't even had a chance to thank for the gift to let him know that while I really appreciated what he sent me, I no longer had it in my possession. I was crushed.
My brother was so, so nice about it. He told me he was sad for me, but that it was alright. He even had another one that was not so perfect for me, but that he could send me as a replacement. I asked him to tell me the English translation of the Russian words on the bookmark.
The literal translation: You are expensive in God's eyes. Or, in a little less literal terms, You are very valuable in the eyes of God.
I said a little prayer in my heart that went something like this: God, I know this is not a big deal, but if it's not a big deal for me to find it, can that happen? I'd really like it and it means so much that this is what my brother picked for me personally.
My assumption was that the bookmark fell out on the train. And I told myself I'd re-trace my steps in the morning and see if I could find it (I'm going back to the same place in the morning anyway.) As I thought about it, I realized that if there was any chance of finding it, the sooner I looked the better the chances were. Despite being dressed for bed, I decided to put shoes and my coat back on and at least go see if it had dropped between the train platform and my door. It had! I found it right by the turnstile I exited through earlier this evening.
This time I really teared up. I felt the truth of the words of J. Devn Cornish in a talk titled The Privilege of Prayer:
"In His mercy, the God of heaven, the Creator and Ruler of all things everywhere, had heard a prayer about a very minor thing. One might well ask why He would concern Himself with something so small. I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because He loves us."
Here is his story that helped teach him that same lesson:
For me, that very minor thing was a bookmark, for J. Devn Cornish it was a quarter. Either way, I do know that God hears prayers, even about seemingly little things. I know that He wants us to be happy, and since little things can tip the scales one way or the other, it is no surprise to me that little things are important to Him. For that I am very, very grateful.
A few days ago I got a package in the mail from my family that included a magnetic bookmark my brother brought home for me from Russia. I LOVED it the moment I saw it. I was so excited that I started using it immediately.
Tonight as I was getting on the elevator I went to move the bookmark from towards the end of the book back to mark my place. It was gone.
I wanted to cry (in fact, my eyes did tear up a bit . . .) and I had to call my brother, who I hadn't even had a chance to thank for the gift to let him know that while I really appreciated what he sent me, I no longer had it in my possession. I was crushed.
My brother was so, so nice about it. He told me he was sad for me, but that it was alright. He even had another one that was not so perfect for me, but that he could send me as a replacement. I asked him to tell me the English translation of the Russian words on the bookmark.
The literal translation: You are expensive in God's eyes. Or, in a little less literal terms, You are very valuable in the eyes of God.
I said a little prayer in my heart that went something like this: God, I know this is not a big deal, but if it's not a big deal for me to find it, can that happen? I'd really like it and it means so much that this is what my brother picked for me personally.
My assumption was that the bookmark fell out on the train. And I told myself I'd re-trace my steps in the morning and see if I could find it (I'm going back to the same place in the morning anyway.) As I thought about it, I realized that if there was any chance of finding it, the sooner I looked the better the chances were. Despite being dressed for bed, I decided to put shoes and my coat back on and at least go see if it had dropped between the train platform and my door. It had! I found it right by the turnstile I exited through earlier this evening.
This time I really teared up. I felt the truth of the words of J. Devn Cornish in a talk titled The Privilege of Prayer:
"In His mercy, the God of heaven, the Creator and Ruler of all things everywhere, had heard a prayer about a very minor thing. One might well ask why He would concern Himself with something so small. I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because He loves us."
Here is his story that helped teach him that same lesson:
When I was a young resident physician at Boston Children’s Hospital, I worked long hours and traveled between the hospital and our home in Watertown, Massachusetts, mostly by bicycle since my wife and young family needed our car. One evening I was riding home after a long period in the hospital, feeling tired and hungry and at least a bit discouraged. I knew I needed to give my wife and four small children not only my time and energy when I got home but also a cheery attitude. I was, frankly, finding it hard to just keep pedaling.
My route would take me past a fried chicken shop, and I felt like I would be a lot less hungry and tired if I could pause for a piece of chicken on my way home. I knew they were running a sale on thighs or drumsticks for 29 cents each, but when I checked my wallet, all I had was one nickel. As I rode along, I told the Lord my situation and asked if, in His mercy, He could let me find a quarter on the side of the road. I told Him that I didn’t need this as a sign but that I would be really grateful if He felt to grant me this kind blessing.I began watching the ground more intently but saw nothing. Trying to maintain a faith-filled but submissive attitude as I rode, I approached the store. Then, almost exactly across the street from the chicken place, I saw a quarter on the ground. With gratitude and relief, I picked it up, bought the chicken, savored every morsel, and rode happily home.
For me, that very minor thing was a bookmark, for J. Devn Cornish it was a quarter. Either way, I do know that God hears prayers, even about seemingly little things. I know that He wants us to be happy, and since little things can tip the scales one way or the other, it is no surprise to me that little things are important to Him. For that I am very, very grateful.
Monday, February 6, 2012
The Whole is the Sum of the Parts
Peter Buffet talked about a concept in his book Life is What you Make of
It that really resonated with me. He said that each of us must act as though our part is the most important part.
He was not saying that we should be egotistical or that we are more important than anyone else. Rather, he was teaching the same idea that Paul conveyed to the Corinthians:
14 For the body is not one member, but many.
I learned the same lesson while involved in theater and band in high school and college.
It's all about each part coming together. Without any one of those parts the entire presentation or production is not complete, whole, or perfect.
Said another way, if each part or person does not function optimally, the whole is sub-par. And when every part of person gives their absolute best, everyone is elevated.
26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
1 Corinthians 12:26
He was not saying that we should be egotistical or that we are more important than anyone else. Rather, he was teaching the same idea that Paul conveyed to the Corinthians:
14 For the body is not one member, but many.
15 If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
16 And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
I learned the same lesson while involved in theater and band in high school and college.
It's all about each part coming together. Without any one of those parts the entire presentation or production is not complete, whole, or perfect.
Said another way, if each part or person does not function optimally, the whole is sub-par. And when every part of person gives their absolute best, everyone is elevated.
26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
1 Corinthians 12:26
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Really a Question of Faith
Many times I have thought to myself "I am so glad I live after the birth, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. I feel it would be so much harder to believe in something that hadn't happened yet." I've been thinking a little more about that lately, and had some interesting realizations.
For one thing, I realized that there is no amount of physical evidence (be that a written record, or visiting Jerusalem or anything else) that can PROVE that Christ lived, died and rose from the dead. In that sense, the written or oral accounts of Christ and his role as Savior compiled before he lived on this earth, while he lived on this earth or after he was resurrected are not really that different. Accepting those accounts is a matter of faith. I can feel a confirmation of truth in my heart through the Holy Ghost just as easily as someone who lived hundreds of years before Christ was born could.
As I was reading from the Book of Mormon during my commute earlier this week, I came across a wonderful passage of scripture that expounds on this idea. There is a group of people who have recently been converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and struggled to repent of all their sins and fully turn their lives over to God. They are about to be attacked by their enemies, and turn to their king to know what they should do. Here is part of what the king tells his people:
13 Behold,
I say unto you, Nay, let us retain our swords that they be not stained
with the blood of our brethren; for perhaps, if we should stain our
swords again they can no more be washed bright through the blood of the Son of our great God, which shall be shed for the atonement of our sins.
For one thing, I realized that there is no amount of physical evidence (be that a written record, or visiting Jerusalem or anything else) that can PROVE that Christ lived, died and rose from the dead. In that sense, the written or oral accounts of Christ and his role as Savior compiled before he lived on this earth, while he lived on this earth or after he was resurrected are not really that different. Accepting those accounts is a matter of faith. I can feel a confirmation of truth in my heart through the Holy Ghost just as easily as someone who lived hundreds of years before Christ was born could.
As I was reading from the Book of Mormon during my commute earlier this week, I came across a wonderful passage of scripture that expounds on this idea. There is a group of people who have recently been converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and struggled to repent of all their sins and fully turn their lives over to God. They are about to be attacked by their enemies, and turn to their king to know what they should do. Here is part of what the king tells his people:
10 And
I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us
that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us
of those our many sins and murders which we have committed, and taken
away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son.
11 And
now behold, my brethren, since it has been all that we could do (as we
were the most lost of all mankind) to repent of all our sins and the
many murders which we have committed, and to get God to take them away
from our hearts, for it was all we could do to repent sufficiently
before God that he would take away our stain—
12 Now,
my best beloved brethren, since God hath taken away our stains, and our
swords have become bright, then let us stain our swords no more with
the blood of our brethren.
14 And
the great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us
that we might not perish; yea, and he has made these things known unto
us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children; therefore, in his mercy he doth visit us by his angels, that the plan of salvation might be made known unto us as well as unto future generations.
These verses reveal a deep commitment to the complete lifestyle change these individuals undertook. Their commitment was so deep that they would rather die than ever kill another human being. Verse 14 was especially striking to me - this king had complete faith that Christ would come to earth and perform the atonement. He knew that Christ's sacrifice would open the door to eternal life, contingent upon the choices of the individual and their willingness to repent. He also praises God for "[making] these things known to us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children."
There it is - one of the bedrocks of my faith - God loves ALL His children, yesterday, today and forever. He will make, and always has made, truth known to those that seek it. For all mankind in all generations of time, the question is whether we will exercise faith and seek that knowledge.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Look Up!
I think the challenge for all of us--but perhaps particularly for young adults--is to try not to look sideways to see how others are viewing our lives but to look up to see how Heavenly Father sees us. He doesn't look on the outward appearance but on the heart. And He knows, better than anyone else, what each of us needs.
- Elder Carl B. Cook, Look Up, Ensign January 2012
Boy do I know that challenge well. Lately, especially since I just started a new job, I have found myself almost constantly thinking about what the people around me are thinking about me. Concerned that I will not be viewed in as favorable light as I would like to be. Worried nearly sick that I am not putting forth enough effort or making a good enough impression.
Elder Cook introduced this idea of looking up in his address in the October General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. After a long day during his first week as a General Authority Elder Cook unexpectedly found himself in an elevator with Pres. Thomas S. Monson. As Pres. Monson entered the elevator, Elder Cook continued staring downheartedly at the floor of the elevator. Pres. Monson provided the following encouragement:
... he had seen my subdued countenance and my heavy briefcase. He smiled and lovingly suggested, while pointing heavenward, “It is better to look up!” As we traveled down one more level, he cheerfully explained that he was on his way to the temple. When he bid me farewell, his parting glance spoke again to my heart, “Now, remember, it is better to look up.”
Elder Cook then shares what he learned from this brief encounter with Pres. Monson and other events in his life:
Experience has taught me that if we, like President Monson, exercise our faith and look to God for help, we will not be overwhelmed with the burdens of life. We will not feel incapable of doing what we are called to do or need to do. We will be strengthened, and our lives will be filled with peace and joy. We will come to realize that most of what we worry about is not of eternal significance—and if it is, the Lord will help us. But we must have the faith to look up and the courage to follow His direction.
Right now in my own life, I feel a need to truly believe this principle and put it in action in my life. I can't agree more with something that Elder Cook said in an article entitled Look Up, in this months edition of the Ensign:
It's easy to get caught up in trying to please others, but we can't trust such external measurements; the world can be too quick both to praise and to criticize.
I think it is time for me to re-acquaint myself with my intrinsic value, and stop focusing so narrowly on what those around me right now think. The lyrics from a song my dad has always loved come to mind - especially the chorus:
The stars fall down from heaven
And scatter upon the earth
As strangers in a strange land
Forgetting their heavenly birth
Adrift and untethered they wander
Through kingdoms of darkness and light
Unschooled and unlearned they follow the tides
And many are lost in the night
Look up! Look up!
The stars in the heavens cry out!
Look up! Look up!
Your course does not lie
On the earth or the sea
It lies in the heavens above
Look up! Look up!
The prince of darkness covets
These glimmering sparks of light
And seeks to blind and bind them
With treasures that have no life
But blazing and bright is the Prince of the Light
Revealing the mystery--
Endowing the stars with His power and might
He shows them their destiny
Look up! Look up!
The stars in the heavens cry out!
Look up! Look up!
Your course does not lie
On the earth or the sea
It lies in the heavens above
Look up! Look up!
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Rejoice in the Prince of the Light!
Rejoice! Rejoice!
For stars that were fading now shine like the Son
Reflecting the light of His love
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Look up!
Look Up! Words & Music by Steven Kapp Perry
Friday, January 13, 2012
Knowing is Not Doing
Reading is one of my favorite past times. I love getting lost in a good story and leaving reality for a while. I love expanding my mind with new ideas. I love thinking about how things connect.
Recently my roommate loaned me "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. Amazing. Very well written novel on a tough subject that made me think. A lot.
In her afterword Stockett says there is one line she truly prizes:
This part stuck out to me too, and I like it even better with a little context around it:
The irony, and relation to reality, struck me. A character in a book who went out of her way and risked a lot to prove a point - that people are just people, that we don't know people's stories till we ask - failed to see the application with someone she knew well and had interacted with regularly. How often do I do that? How often do I fall into that same trap?
It is a fact of life - "what we know is not always reflected in what we do" (to borrow the words of David A. Bednar.) But, we can work each day to understand the stories of the people around us a little more. And, we can be honest and brave enough to acknowledge and learn from situations where what we know was not reflected in what we did.
Recently my roommate loaned me "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. Amazing. Very well written novel on a tough subject that made me think. A lot.
In her afterword Stockett says there is one line she truly prizes:
Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd though.
This part stuck out to me too, and I like it even better with a little context around it:
I watch Lou Anne slip away in the parking lot, thinking, There is so much you don't know about a person." I wonder if I could've made her days a little bit easier, if I'd tried. If I'd treated her a little nicer. Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd thought.
But Lou Anne, she understood the point of the book before she ever read it. The one who was missing the point this time was me.
The irony, and relation to reality, struck me. A character in a book who went out of her way and risked a lot to prove a point - that people are just people, that we don't know people's stories till we ask - failed to see the application with someone she knew well and had interacted with regularly. How often do I do that? How often do I fall into that same trap?
It is a fact of life - "what we know is not always reflected in what we do" (to borrow the words of David A. Bednar.) But, we can work each day to understand the stories of the people around us a little more. And, we can be honest and brave enough to acknowledge and learn from situations where what we know was not reflected in what we did.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Storm Cloud or Silver Lining?
If there is one thing that is constant about life, it is change. I know this. That doesn't mean I always like it.
Over the past couple weeks I've been thinking about change and over the past couple of days everything I hear or read or sing seems to relate to my thoughts and feelings. Specifically I have been reminded of the role of my choices - particularly the role of how I choose to perceive things.
Lyrics from two songs:
"Even perfect days can end in rain."
"Roses and thorns grow together
Even rainbows follow bad weather."
Quote from Remember the Titans:
"Sometimes life is just hard for no reason at all."
My experiences have taught me that almost anything can be seen as a stumbling block or a stepping stone. We can choose to look at thorns or roses, we can focus on the rain or be grateful for the possibility of a rainbow when it stops; we can see a grey storm cloud or hunt for the silver lining.
"Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you." -Anonymous
As I have prayed and pondered, seeking peace in quiet moments has become very important to me. A repeated line from one of my favorite hymns kept coming to mind: "Be still, my soul." Well, today we sang it in Church. There are a few lines here and there from the song that really pull all of this together and express my faith in the future and God ability to help me thorough anything:
"Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to they God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
...
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
...
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."
Over the past couple weeks I've been thinking about change and over the past couple of days everything I hear or read or sing seems to relate to my thoughts and feelings. Specifically I have been reminded of the role of my choices - particularly the role of how I choose to perceive things.
Lyrics from two songs:
"Even perfect days can end in rain."
"Roses and thorns grow together
Even rainbows follow bad weather."
Quote from Remember the Titans:
"Sometimes life is just hard for no reason at all."
My experiences have taught me that almost anything can be seen as a stumbling block or a stepping stone. We can choose to look at thorns or roses, we can focus on the rain or be grateful for the possibility of a rainbow when it stops; we can see a grey storm cloud or hunt for the silver lining.
"Anywhere is paradise; it's up to you." -Anonymous
As I have prayed and pondered, seeking peace in quiet moments has become very important to me. A repeated line from one of my favorite hymns kept coming to mind: "Be still, my soul." Well, today we sang it in Church. There are a few lines here and there from the song that really pull all of this together and express my faith in the future and God ability to help me thorough anything:
"Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to they God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
...
Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
...
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."
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