Monday, August 5, 2019

Old Friends

Friends: People who know you and love you anyway

While reading Graceful by Wendy Mass there was a line that jumped out at me:

"...no one knows you like your childhood friends..."

I've been thinking about friendship a lot lately. My Journal typing project has brought back a lot of memories and made me extremely grateful that we get to learn and grow through life. And even more grateful for those who walk along that path of growth with me.

During a phone call with one of those childhood friends, we were discussing some of the current challenges of life. They look different than the ones I'm transcribing from my junior high journal, but they don't feel that different. Feelings still get hurt. Life still throws us curve balls. We still need a listening ear and to feel like someone cares and wants what is best for us.

My friend spoke these words into the airwaves across the nearly 2,000 miles separating us:

"...even if we're not physically close, I rely on you. I know you care and know me."

As someone who has moved quite a bit, I know that developing relationships with people in the place you are now is important -- a huge, necessary, support. BUT I don't know what I would do without the connections and bonds that traverse longer distances of time, and in my case, also longer distances of space.

Another childhood friend of mine I don't get to see very often since we both moved far from our childhood homes and live on opposite sides of the country.  Her friendship and support is still something I can feel and that I definitely value in my life. She was the only locker partner I ever had. I trust her completely. I am so grateful for the memories and shared experiences we enjoy.

In her parent's bathroom they had a saying:

Make new friends, keep the old.
One is silver, the other is gold.

That sentiment is also conveyed in a song lyric that has lodged in my brain:

I believe we gotta forgive and make amends
'Cause nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends
-
"Most People Are Good" by Luke Bryan

These things have been on my mind, and then Facebook brought up a memory of my roommates outside our house around the time we graduated from college. The same song lyric came to me: "...nobody gets a second chance to make new old friends" and I realized this is also true of each time we start over.

When I moved to Boston the first time I was sitting by myself at Church. A friendly voice asked if I was new. Turns out, she was too. "We're going to be friends!" she proclaimed. And we were. And still over a decade later. What a great old Boston friend she is! And when we both ended up in NYC, guess what, I was incredibly grateful to see her there.

As I've processed through writing these thoughts out, I've come to decide two things:
  1. We should try to maintain existing relationships. They are gold.
  2. We should remain open to building and cultivating new relationships too - they will become existing relationships that we value and find more precious than gold.