Sacrifice

I was sitting in one of my last classes for my Developing Sustainable Communities course this past semester and we were talking about what we had learned and how to use what we had learned to help others. The word "sacrifice" came up; as in someone may have to make a sacrifice to get what they really want and in order to do what is good for the whole rather than the individual. My professor quickly suggested that we might not want to frame things as a sacrifice, people they won't want to hear that they have to give something up.

The concept of sacrifice is not new to me, nor do I see it as a bad thing. Thus, I was really surprised by the reaction of my professor. He was adamant that we should be careful how we phrase things. Sacrifice is not a word people want to hear, nor a principle that they want to apply in their lives so we should not suggest it. I raised my hand and shared my view that people already sacrifice things and not talking about it doesn't change that. I suggested it may be more a matter of helping people become aware of the sacrifices, or trade-offs, they are already making rather than trying to make them believe that they must make sacrifices.

This principle and the conversation in my class came back to me as I was reading up on personal finances and the role of distinguishing between wants and needs. The article said it was vital to learn that sacrifice is necessary to become disciplined. It hit me that people may not want to hear something, but often what we don't want to hear is exactly what we need to hear.

Sacrifice can be viewed in terms of what we must give up now or in what we are hoping to gain in the long run because of our discipline and choices now. I personally like to think about if what I am hoping to gain is worth what I am choosing to give up. Weighing the trade-offs can both help change tracks if we are not really going where we want, or if what we have to give up now turns out to be too high a cost and can strengthen the resolve to continue exercising discipline when the end goal is worth the necessary sacrifice.

Strengths and Weaknesses

Yesterday I was having a conversation with a good friend and I commented that I wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that I tend to be a deep thinker. He said often our greatest strengths are also challenges. I laughed, because I have found this to be very true in my life. (I think it relates to the need for balance in our lives. I'll have to write more about the idea of balance another time - it is a concept I really love!)

This morning I was thinking about that idea again. It hit me that the reverse is also true. Our biggest weaknesses can also at times be strengths, or be turned into strengths. That reminded me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that reads: "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Ether 12:27

What a wonderful thing. To me, this is all about progress, about becoming a better person. Does that mean it is easy, no. Life has a way of teaching me over and over again that most things that are worth doing, and that are truly rewarding, are not easy. Those worth pursuits often require effort and struggle. And, are totally worth it once accomplished, even if that is hard to remember during the battle.

No More Than We Can Handle

Life is an interesting thing. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and wondering how in the world I'll be able to do everything required of me. I also find myself from time to time trying to explain to someone why I hold myself to the standards I do. In both cases I find solace in the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ and my testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is something no one can take from me. It is also something I can't give to anyone else. I can offer them a chance to learn and grow and come to know truth, but I can't make anyone understand.

I want to share a few scriptures that help me and bring me comfort as I face things that are hard or that I don't understand:

In the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ a man named Nephi is asked by his father who is a prophet called of God to carry out a task. When Nephi's brothers question whether or not to follow through with the direction that came from God through the prophet, Nephi responded in faith saying: "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."1 Nephi 3:7 Nephi's faith was not in vain, he was able to accomplish the task he was given.

In the New Testament (King James version of the Bible), Paul, one of the twelve disciples of Jesus Christ, shares his testimony with the Philippians. He is in prison and writes to strengthen and cheer the people. Despite theawful circumstances in which he found himself, Paul shares that one of the things he has learned is to be content with whatsoever state he finds himself in. Then he assures the Philippians, and perhaps himself as well, "I can do all things through Christ whichstrengtheneth me." Philippians 4:13

In the Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of revelations from God mainly to Joseph Smith, the Lord Jesus Christ gives the following council: "Stop and stand still until I command thee, and I will provide means whereby thoumayest accomplish the thing which I have commanded thee. And if thou art faithful in keeping my commandments, thou shalt be lifted up at the last day"
Doctrine and Covenants 5:34-35

I have found these things to be true in my own life. I too know that there is nothing I have been asked to do by God that I have not been enabled to accomplish. Despite this, at times the things that I am asked to do at the moment seem too hard. In those moments I try to remember like Paul that through Christ's help I can do anything, and likeNephi that if the Lord commands, he will provide a way. It also helps me to remember that blessings and help are conditional upon my faith and efforts to move forward with the command I have been given.

Redistributive Policies

Today in my Economics review I was able to give voice to some of my concerns about redistributive policies. There were three specific thoughts that came out of the feelings of unease I've felt for years about this. In theory it sounds good, and I agree with many of the principles, but couldn't completely jump on board.

First, redistributive policies can hurt more than they help. I don't think this WILL happen I think this CAN happen and should be something that is considered and that they possible negative impacts are accounted for and protected against as well as possible. Some of the potential negative consequences include a disincentive to work, both at the top and the bottom. If it is more financially beneficial to not work and get a welfare check, it may happen. If there is going to be too much of your paycheck taken away if you make over a certain amount, what is the incentive to work as hard as you can? The cost of transferring wealth can be more than the wealth that is being redistributed. Now, these are some of the arguments that I have heard over and over again and I think are not good enough reasons not to try to make a difference and help those who really need help making ends meet.

Another unease I felt comes from the fact that what we call "wealth redistribution" is actually not. We rarely give someone money. Rather, we provide services. These may or many not meet the individual needs of the families we are seeking to serve. It is great that small children can in theory have access to healthy food through the WIC program or to decent pre-schools through Head Start. But what if what they need is a warm jacket? Taxes are the biggest form of wealth distribution in this nation that I know of. Taxes don't always go to help those who need it most. Often they go to help everyone - better roads, or national defense do not help those who have less more than they help those how have a lot.

Among my classmates there tends to be be a Robin Hood feel to talk about wealth redistribution. That is not the way it actually works. We do not take from the rich and give it to the poor. I think in some ways I would feel better about things if that was more how it happened. But, even that is not compeltely true. I hear almost no end to the wonders of Sweden and its socialized medicine etc., but I remain unconvinced that it is the best thing since sliced bread and America is the worst. I belive there are pros and cons to each. Comparing the best of one to the worst of another does little justice to either.

I do think we need to do more to help people thrive. Do we all have to have the same amount of money or things? I don't think so. Do we all need to have a safe warm place to sleep, food to eat, honorable work to do, a chance to learn and grow? I think so. I believe we should work towards having a better way of dealing with these things at the goverment level, but I also believe there is a lot that individuals and non-profits can, and in many cases already are, doing to raise the level at which all humanity operates. May we all do a little more good, help one another a little more, be a little more generous with what we have. That is my wish.

True Love

A few days ago I was watching TV - something I don't often do. After channel flipping for awhile we found a documentary about The Cosby show. The actors were talking about their experiences filming the show and some of their favorite, and funniest memories. Malcom-Jamal Warner, who played Theo for those familiar with the show, was sharing one of his favorite memories and I thought there was a powerful lesson in his story.

He said part of the reason he loved being in this cast was that it was different from most other shows about families. In one episode, he is in his room with his father talking about a recent report card and they play a clip from the show. It turns out Theo has been getting D's in his classes. His father is predictably unhappy about this. Theo turns to his dad and starts expressing his view that he isn't smart like his doctor father and that his father needs to just accept him for who he is and not expect him to be just like him. At this point, they shift from the clip back to Malcom. He says that in any other show, the music would have cued and the father and son would have embraced. Then he laughs as they shift back to the clip. Dr. Huxtable sits up from his launging position and says "Now that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" He goes on to explain that he expects his son to do his best, and he knows his son is capable of more than D's. He says he expects his son to make an effort. Then he walks out of the room, turns around walks back in and tells his son "come here" and then he gives him a hug.

My father did plenty of things like that as I was growing up. He filled his role as my mentor, guide, coach, disciplinarian, loving advocate. He was not afriad to push me and help me learn. He set boundaries and standards and then held me to them and did his best to enable me to reach my goals. He did not allow me to short change myself. There were moments when like Theo I wanted to be accepted for "who I am" or what I thought I was capable of. Looking back I am so grateful for my father, and other amazing people in my life that wouldn't let me settle for what I thought was my best but instead guided me toward what they knew I could become.

I am also very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who does the same thing. He has provided me with commandments and standards. Sometimes they seem unattainable. Sometimes I want to just be accepted for who I am now. But ultimately that is not what I want. I want to be guided to greater joy and accomplishment. I want to have lasting joy through doing what is asked of me through the growth that comes from doing what seemed too hard and not fleeting happiness from settling for what seems good enough to me now. I hope that at least in the end I will always be grateful for those in my life who will tell me "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" and expect more from me than I'd be willing to give on my own.

Ripples

Recently I went with a few friends up to Acadia National Park in Maine. While there we climbed Mt. Champlain. The views of the Bar Harbor area were breath taking. As I sat pondering and taking in the sights, I noticed these boats which were fishing. I was way at the top of a mountain and could see ripples coming from the boats (without my glasses on I might add). I remembered talking about the ripple effects people can have in a service seminar I went to once. Often we have no idea who the things we do will influence or how our actions now may reach someone in the future. But, our actions do have this outward motion and do eventually touch others. I have a huge desire to be like those boats - creating waves, reaching out to others. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever know. Those ripples traveled a long distance from the boats, eventually reaching the shore or colliding with other sets of ripples. Do I have the strength and diligence to keep sending out my ripples even if I don't see the positive effects. I sure hope so!

Thoughts on Same Sex Marriage

Before I address this topic there are some basic things you must understand about me – some of which were previously discussed in this blog. We are all children of a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us. We are here on this earth to work towards being able to live with our Heavenly Father. We have the opportunity and obligation to reach out to each other – both with temporal and spiritual things – to aid in our journey toward being more like our Heavenly Father. This life does not mark the beginning of time, nor does death mark the end of our existence.

The well being of children and families is something that is very important to me. I have chosen to study this field and look forward to opportunities that will allow me to have a positive impact on the lives of those around me. I am also grateful for those I have already had in my life. Right now, I find myself in a relatively liberal state at a relatively liberal graduate school. Academic settings tend to lean toward the liberal side anyway, and I find myself in classes with people who have very different perspectives than I do which has been a wonderful growing experience for me. At times it has made me feel that I can’t express my view. At times this is because I fear that those who know more than I do will shoot me down. At times this is because I fear feeling vulnerable by making myself stand out. At times it is because I feel it the particular issue doesn’t really matter or that sharing my view won’t change anyone’s perspective anyway, so why bother. Listening to myself making these and other excuses about why I wasn’t publicly expressing my view about changing the definition of marriage as a social institution to include unions between homosexual couples I realized I was being a coward and not true to my values and principles. My lack of vocalization does not reflect a lack of opinion or thought on the matter. On the contrary, I have spent a lot of time thinking about this issue. I want to share both some of the reason I feel the definition of marriage should be maintained as between a man and a women and my response to the arguments offered by those in favor of changing this definition. With that preface, here are my thoughts:

The definition and function of marriage has evolved over time and throughout cultures. If you believe we are all descendants of Adam and Eve who were married in the Garden of Eden by the power of God it is probable you still hold a “traditional” view of marriage – between a man and a women. Under this view, there are multiple purposes for marriage, two main ones being to procreate and to care for one another. Marriage is not just the opportunity to procreate, but a commandment accompanied with obligations to care for offspring and each other. Accompanying this view is the implicit idea that a man and a woman together can provide valuable and complimentary nurturing for their children that neither could provide alone. For example, social science research tells us that fathers help their children learn boundaries and that mothers help children learn to self-regulate. This does not mean a child will not learn the complimentary life skill if a child has only a mother, only a father, or even two mothers or two fathers. It may mean the child is in a less than ideal environment for learning those complementary skills. In modern American society we have moved towards viewing marriage as a means for two individuals to express their love and commitment to each other. Ironically, this has not strengthened the institution of marriage if divorce statistics are any indication. Arguably, children are negatively impacted by the deterioration of marriage.

If you are not religious or have a religious background not founded in Christianity this reasoning can be written off as the babble of rhetoric of a “believer” or possibly even a religious fanatic. However, in American culture marriage was not instituted as a “right” but as social institution that defines an obligation between a husband and a wife and their obligations towards their children. This obligation is an element of marriage that has persisted throughout American history. Today we talk about “Dead Beat Dads” and have governmental programs in place to get money from men who have fathered children because we still believe they have an obligation towards their offspring. Even the idea of divorce courts that determine who gets what have their base in the idea that there is mutual obligation between adults who entered marital relations.

Very simply, my belief that this is a moral issue with far reaching consequences is the biggest reason for my stance. I believe we do not realize the magnitude of the consequences should we start down the path of redefining marriage. I think it is important to acknowledge that some people participating in this debate are coming from a moral or ethical stand point and other are approaching it from a social justice or human rights perspective. I don’t think these two are incompatible but I do think that if we fail to recognize both angles then a lot of confusion, unnecessary frustration, and tension may result. I’m a firm believer in the importance of understanding where someone is coming from. Taking the time to listen and seek their perspective can help create respect and understanding. This does not mean you have to change your view or agree with their stance.

Looking at the logic and arguments for the other side of an issue can help you determine if you truly agree with the stance you have taken, deepen your ability to both understand where they are coming from, and increase the chance that you can express your views in a manner that is sensitive and beneficial based on the context and background of those with whom you are discussing.

One reason people present in favor of same sex marriage is the idea that as long as your actions are not hurting anyone else it doesn’t matter what you do. I have never understood this argument. Perhaps it is because I view all our actions as very interrelated. It is nearly impossible to think of an action made by an individual that does not affect those around them in some way. Our actions affect, if nothing else, our mood which affects the way we interact with those around us. A parent’s choice to spend money on one thing decreases the funds available for other financial decisions. Even the example of same sex marriage illustrates this point. It goes beyond allowing an individual to interact with another individual in a way they mutually deem fit to changing societal institutions to reflect their preferences for interacting. When societal institutions change all who live within the society are affected.

Another reason that people give is the concept that the values of socially conservative individuals are being forced upon others with more socially liberal views. This is also an interesting argument to me. It is the same one that people forward in relation to removing “God” from our money or the Pledge of Allegiance. I feel they fail to realize that they are seeking to do exactly what upsets them about others – conform to their liberal views and values. They do not believe in God and feel they should not be forced to use currency claiming “In God We Trust” but removing it forces those who do believe in God to not express that belief. Neither the arguments around currency or marriage are value free on either side. Each side has deeply rooted feelings toward the issue based on their beliefs – religious or secular, liberal or conservative. One side claiming to be value free distorts the discussion. I feel we need moral legislation for a functioning society. We can have debates about what is moral, and which code of ethics we are going to subscribe to, but it is an issue of competing codes of moral ethics not morals against something higher than moral ethics.

Another argument raised has to do with the innate element of homosexual attraction. In my field of study we look at the “nature vs. nurture” debate. Does someone behave the way they do because they are born with some gene that makes them act so (nature) or because we are social beings instilled with a set of behaviors and reactions by those around us (nurture). A few still that hold to their end of this seeming dichotomy, but more and more both those with a biological base and those with a more sociological perspective agree that no clear answer exists. The answer is always both nature and nurture. The correct answer is also it varies by individual. Even if an average ratio for biological vs. social input could be found for any number of phenomena such as autism, depression, homosexual attraction, being an introvert or an extrovert, having musical skill, having athletic skill, etc. that average ratio could not be applied exactly to each individual with that trait.

If one believes that homosexual attraction is all, or partially, biological they may claim it is natural or there is nothing the individual can do about those feelings. Again, this is an argument I have a hard time wrapping my head around. I can think of several things that have a biological component that I feel most people would agree are not natural, not something we can do nothing about, and not something to be uniformly encouraged. Anger is one of those things. Someone individuals may be inclined to get angry; however, as a society we feel that people should work towards controlling their emotions and reaction. Another is depression. This is something that we know is affected by both genetic and environmental factors. We do not say to someone who struggles with this ailment “oh this is just part of who you are.” We have found ways to help them deal with this situation based both in therapeutic and medicinal treatments. These are not ideal situations, but they illustrate our desire to help people deal with the curve balls life throws each of us in the best way possible for optimal functioning - be that social, physical, emotional, spiritual or all the above.

To me that’s what this life is all about, moving toward optimal functioning under the constraints of this imperfect world we find ourselves in. We all have strengths and weaknesses, blessings and trials. I believe we have the ability to make choices and to receive help in overcoming all our weaknesses through the help of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It is because I believe we can overcome anything through the power of His Atonement - if not in this life than in the next - that we must strive toward moral uprightness even if the circumstances we find ourselves in seem unfair.

My Favorite Truth

Truth is an interesting thing. I believe that some truth is relative and some truth is absolute. One thing I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that I am a child of God. We all are. We have a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us individually. That is so cool to me.

This is a truth I come back to in my moments of stress, frustration, contemplation, awe, joy - in moments of doubt and moments of gratitude. It is one of my favorite truths to share with others. It shapes the way I look at the world - both the way I think about myself and those around me. Since we are all children of God, and He loves each of us, that means I should love and respect all of my fellow human beings too. I try to do that. Sometimes I'm more effective than others :)

I am grateful for the fundamental, wonderful and absolute truth the we have a Father in Heaven that knows and loves us. I am equally grateful that it is a truth that each of us can come to know for ourselves.

Do You Feel Restricted?

This is a question I have been asked more than once in relation to my religious beliefs.

The most recent iteration came as I was going to a review session for one of my classes. I walked in talking about sales tax on food. That is something that doesn't exist in Massachusetts, but does exist in Utah (or at least did, I know the law changed recently) One of the girls already at the review asked if I was from Utah, followed by "are you a Mormon?" quickly followed by "Oh, I'm sorry!" just as the review started.

Afterward she again apologized for her question, which I assured her was completely fine. She sought to further reassure me by saying she had other Mormon friends. Then she asked if I had to marry a Mormon. I told her no, but I am going to. Her next question was "Don't you think that is rather restrictive?" No, actually I don't. I think that it is very enabling. The gospel of Jesus Christ as presented in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is one of the most important things in my life - along with my relationships with my family who I love so much! Since this is so incredibly important to me, it is something I want to share with the person I intend to spend the rest of forever with.

In many ways this question, particularly related to marriage, makes me smile. We all have things we are looking for in our future spouse. If you have a particular political leaning, you will most likely seek someone who has similar beliefs. So it is with me. And when I get discouraged I remind myself that I want to be happy in the long run, not just now, so I'll wait and keep looking.

Why I go to Church

Recently I was asked why I go to Church - to commune with God or for the social aspect. While both those things are important to me, neither of them adequately captures why I go to Church each week. I told my friend that I go to Church each week to renew covenants that I have made with my Heavenly Father.

The Book of Mormon talks about what we commit to do if we are baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We should be willing to be called the people of God, willing to bear one another's burdens, willing to mourn with those that mourn, willing to comfort those in need of comfort, and willing to stand as a witness of God at all times and in all things, and in all places (see Mosiah 18: 8-9). When I think about that, I realize that really, both elements my friend asked me about are embedded in the reason I go to Church. I must have a relationship with God in order to be able to successfully be His witness, and to effectively meet the needs of those around me. In order to meet the needs of others, I must have a relationship with them. So, I guess I go to Church to commune with God and for the social aspects, in order to renew the covenants I have made.

Stories

Each of us has a story. For the most part we know little, if anything about the stories of those around us. This can be very problematic. Unfortunately, it is usually not till after I learn more about someones story that I remember this fact. Initially I'm usually obliviously making assumptions that I feel awful about in retrospect.

For several years now, it has been my goal to try to remember my lack of knowledge sooner, and to seek to learn more about the stories of those around me. In the past few days I have been forcefully reminded that I need to make this a priority again. When I learn things that put behaviors of others into perspective, more often than not I am humbled and wish that I had known sooner. Sometimes all it takes is a willingness to ask, and to listen - truly listen.

To counter my lack of knowledge about other peoples stories there are a few things I try to keep in mind. First, that we are all human beings deserving of love and respect. Second, that everyone has bad days. Third, that most people have good intentions most of the time. If I live my life believing these things, I find that I am much happier and have a much more positive outlook on life in general and towards individuals that I come in contact with. This is a semi-public re-commitment to doing just that. I'm grateful for all who come across my path allowing me to learn and grow, and hopefully do a little better each time than the time before.

The Hair Cut Analogy

Choices are kind of like taking care of your hair. Imagine you have long hair - down past your shoulders. You have many options. You can braid your hair, you can curl your hair, you can put your hair in a ponytail, you can dye your hair, you can cut your hair. Some choices have more lasting effects than others. If you braid your hair today, you can take the braid out and your hair is basically the same. If you dye your hair or cut your hair today the consequences are longer lasting, but not permanent.

I like this conception because it reflects several facets of how I look at choices and the consequences of those choices. First, I believe that we all have the right to choose. Second, I believe that there are often many choices with basically equal utility. Third, I believe that choices are rarely irreversible. Fourth, I think choices and consequences are intrinsically linked.

There is a chapter in The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that captures this concept of consequences to our choices very well. In Alma 42 the prophet Alma is talking to his son Shiblon. Shiblon had concerns about the "justice" of people being punished for their sins. Alma explains that if there is not a punishment attached to an action, it can't be a sin. "But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted" (Alma 42:22). Thus, each of us can make choices, and we can fix poor choices through the wonderful gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Justice and mercy are balancing concepts. Mercy requires that our choices be considered in context of what we know and our preceding and following choices.

I think the choices we make are extremely important. I believe there are morally right choices, and I believe we have the chance to receive guidance about what choices we should make. I believe that through studying the Gospel of Jesus Christ and seeking answers both through scriptures, modern revelation, and personal answers to prayers we will be lead and guided along a path that will bring us happiness both now and in the future. Happiness must be understood as something that is long lasting - not fleeting and dependent on doing what will bring pleasure now, but sorrow, remorse, guilt, shame or the like later.

I am grateful for the moral compass that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is in my life. I am grateful for the chance I have to work towards being a better person every day.

Finding the Godly in Others

Awhile back I had an awesome conversation with one of my good friends in my graduate program. We met to eat lunch together and he wanted to talk religion (something I LOVE to do!). We got to talking about our personal believes about the nature of God. He talked about the concepts of an organic Godly presence that emanates from the ground, or from within us each as individuals and compared this to the idea of a transcendent God - one who is omniscient, omnipresent, and lords over us humans here on earth. He has a hard time believing in a transcendent God, and says he feels we all have part of the essence of God within us. Then he said something that struck me as very profound. He says that he likes to look for the Godly in others. Wouldn't that be cool if we all did that? What if instead of looking for faults we tried to find what was wonderful in each other? What if instead of assuming the worst we believed that, in general, people have good intentions? I think that would be amazing.

Moments like that remind me of a concept that President Gordon B. Hinckley (President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints 1995-2008) taught multiple times: "We, in effect, simply say to others, 'Bring all the good that you have and let us see if we can add to it.'" click here for full talk I love this reminder that we all have good to share with each other.

Personally, I believe that God is our Father. We are all His children. He loves each of us, individually and personally. I believe He does know all. I do not believe in a wrathful, vengeful God that seeks to punish human beings. Rather, I believe God's love for us is manifest in His gift of direction in the form of commandments - which have inescapable consequences, of which we have been warned (there will be more on this very soon, I've been thinking about choices and consequences A LOT lately). I also believe there is something Godly to be found in everyone.

Two Great Commandments

Awhile ago I was walking to my chapel to attend an Institute of Religion class. As I was hurrying down the street, I passed a man asking if anyone could spare some change. Being a poor college student, I usually feel this is something I can't do, but I always offer the snack I inevitably have with me. As is often the case, this man turned my granola bar down. While I was putting the granola bar back in my bag, he asked me "Is that a Bible you are carrying?" and I said "It is". He asked me if I would teach him something from the Bible. I said the first thing that came to my mind - that I believe we are supposed to love God and love our fellow man. In Matt 22:37-39 Jesus Christ taught this principle. I love this concept, and I think that everything in life boils down to whether or not we are love God and our fellow man. When I shared this, my new friend smiled and nodded. He said he knew that was true, and thanked me for sharing that message with him. I wished him a good day, and continued on my way to my class with a greater desire to reach out and lift and strengthen those around me in whatever small ways I can.

You Can't Do It Alone

I was reading a book for work recently that talked about the commercialization of childhood. In the book, the author made a comment that while parents have a responsibility to teach their children, they really can't fight the battle against the commercial forces aimed at their children alone.

This is true, and it got me thinking about what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints offers that can help combat the negative influence of media and commercialism in general. A few things came to mind. First, we have been instructed to be selective about the kind of media we expose ourselves to. For me, this has translated to less media exposure over all, which in and of itself limits the amount of advertising and commercialism I am exposed to. Also, the Church offers a wonderful support network. Members look out for each other. It is not just parents expressing particular values and views, but a network of reinforcing teachings from respected and valued leaders and friends.

On top of the wonderful support of other Latter-day Saints, we have the benefit of a personal relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. They are ready and willing to help us by sending guidance and comfort through the Holy Ghost if we are but willing to ask.

If we start looking at all that is working against us, we are tempted to call it a losing fight. I'm reminded of the words wisdom and comfort spoken by Elisha, a prophet from the Old Testament. He declares: "Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them." (see 2 Kings 6:15-17 King James Version of the Bible). I believe we have Heavenly help far more often than we realize. So, when it seems that there are too many things fighting against us, we can take comfort that we are not fighting alone as we push back against seemingly insurmountable odds.

It's true, you can't do it alone, you're not supposed to, and you don't have to.

Happily Ever After?

I realized that there was an important part about my Disney discussion that I forgot to even mention.

One complaint that is often raised against Disney is that they promote unrealistic ideals - Happily Ever After? This morning as I was cleaning my apartment I was listening to the Soundtrack from Enchanted and one of the songs talks about how all of us want to believe that happily ever after is possible. Well, I personally believe it is possible. I don't believe that some day the man of my dreams will suddenly appear in my life, we'll immediately know we are in love, get married and live happily ever after. I do believe that there is great plan of happiness in place and that "men are that they might have joy" (see 2 Nephi 2:25) Of course each of us want to maximize our chances for happiness in this life, and that includes working towards having a happy marriage and family life.

I believe that men and women have distinct, and complimentary roles in this life. I feel we spend too much time trying to be the same. Why don't we just embrace and express gratitude for our differences and work together towards Happily Ever After?

The Wonderful World of Disney

I grew up watching Disney shows. Yes, I have my favorites. In the past few months, I have thought and talked about media A LOT. I took a class that looked at Children and the Mass Media, I have an internship this summer with an advocacy organization that seeks to minimize the impact of our commercialized world on children (and yes, that most definitely includes the Disney Empire). Let me share a few thoughts and a conversation I recently had on the subject.

There were several “Disney bashing” days in my Children and the Mass Media class. I read multiple articles that critiqued Disney and while some of the things they said rang true, I also found myself scoffing at the thought that Disney was pure evil. Sitting in class, I was faced with many people expressing their opinions against Disney. There are no mothers. Girls are relegated to being princesses in need of defending. Disney’s excessive marketing of licensed products, especially to little girls. Many of the perspectives I was able to handle, or at least hadn’t been pushed far enough to respond. Then started the long list of what was wrong with Mulan. I readily acknowledge that much of what was talked about was true – however I felt that another side of the situation needed to be acknowledged and considered. So, I raised my hand and took a big risk. To this room full of my peer who I knew had an opposing view to mine, I expressed my dissenting option.

Mulan is one of my favorites. I love my Dad. He and I have been through a lot together and I am so grateful for his support for me. I am grateful that he has always pointed me toward the path of becoming a better person and has always loved and supported me, the person I am now, as I strive to become better. (I have to interject – this parallels the way that our Father in Heaven feels and acts towards all His children – which is all of us – with love and understanding.) People in my class pointed to the closing scene in Mulan as one of the ultimate reasons the movie did not really break free from the stereotype – the girl still gets the guy in the end. My thought was that it depends on how you look at things. One can focus on the fact that the boy comes back into the picture, and we can discuss and analyze whether it fits or breaks the classic Disney mold. OR we can focus on my favorite part of the end of the movie. Mulan comes back to her father bearing gifts from the Emperor of China meant to bring honor to the family. Mulan’s father pushes these worldly things aside and hugs his little girl and tells her that she is the best gift and honor he could ever have. That to me is beautiful – an expression of true love from a father to a daughter. A reminder that things only have so much value, they pale in comparison to relationships with people. We choose the lens through which we look at the world. I do my best to choose to see things in a positive light. Sometimes I have to sift through a lot of sand, but usually there is some gold in there, even if it’s just flecks.

My personal experience aligns with the conclusion of a friend of mine – Disney has done more good than harm.

Explaining My Choice

Not too long ago I was talking to a friend of mine who told me if I created a blog he'd read it every time I updated it. He said I should share my thoughts, that maybe they would inspire other people to look at things from a different perspective. I smiled, probably laughed, and dismissed his idea. Then I got this month's copy of the Ensign - a monthly magazine published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - and there with an article by Elder M. Russell Ballard about sharing what we know and believe with others through the internet. So, here I am.

You may or may not have thought about some of the things I think about. You may or may not agree with me. I just feel a desire to share my thoughts and perspectives in case they are of use to someone, and if not, hopefully they will at least be entertaining to my friend who has promised to read what I write :)