He is Risen!

Today is Easter. And I got asked to teach a lesson about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Spending the week before Easter studying that glorious event was a wonderful experience for me. I think one of the main reasons why is because I chose to focus on the power and peace of the Atonement that comes into our lives today as we come unto Christ and learn of him instead of the suffering and pain he experienced in his final days and hours.

I am grateful for what he suffered. I believe it was real, and truly more than anyone besides the literal son of God could endure. But, I think the true meaning of Easter is one of celebration that we don't have to experience pain alone or for long if we are willing to cast our burdens on Christ (see Psalms 55:22) and take his yoke upon us (see Matthew 11:29).

There was a talk given today where my thoughts were reflected to me in this line:

"How soon would that deep grieving be replaced with the purest wonder, joy, and love."

I think God wants us to focus on the good in our life. He wants us to feel wonder, joy, and love. He wants us to be happy. Of course we are going to go through hard things. Of course there are days when all we can do is cry. But, I know that we can find peace and joy through those things.

The experience of Alma the younger in the Book of Mormon comes to mind:

17 And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.

18 Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.

19 And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more, yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.

20 And oh, what joy and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!

21 Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy. (Alma 36:17-21)

 Think of that "I could remember my pains no more" and "my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain". That is beautiful. And clearly it didn't mean he can't think about the fact that he did feel pain - years later he is telling this story to his sons. But, his pain was swallowed up in his joy. He could no longer feel that pain, only peace.

That is my testimony this day. It is possible. Christ is able to swallow up all of our pain. All of it. Not just the pain we feel from doing something wrong, but any pain. Pain that comes because we don't feel good enough. Pain that comes because we feel someone else has done us wrong. Pain that comes from feeling angry with ourselves or others. Pain that comes from feeling like we can't trust those around us. He can take that pain away. He will give us his peace instead.

I am grateful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the opportunity it gives me to feel peace in my life. I pray that I can be more willing and able to use it in my life.

Truly Generous?

One of my colleagues puts a quote in her daily attendance reports. Many of them make me smile or think and I appreciate them. Recently this was her quote:

"Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out."
~Frank A. Clark~

I like this quote, but there was something about it that also sort of rubbed me the wrong way, and I had to mull it over to figure out why. I think there is truth in this statement. But I think there is also a potential danger in this mentality.

While mulling this over I remembered a passage from The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis (a series of letters from a Devil to his nephew, who is an apprentice to be a devil - in the passage below, the Enemy is God, the patient is a human being).

Do what you will, there is going to be some benevolence, as well as some malice, in your patient's soul. The great thing is to direct the malice to his immediate neighbours whom he meets every day and to thrust his benevolence out to the remote circumference, to people he does not know. The malice thus becomes wholly real and the benevolence largely imaginary. There is no good at all in inflaming his hatred of Germans if, at the same time, a pernicious habit of charity is growing up between him and his mother, his employer, and the man he meets in the train. Think of your man as a series of concentric circles, his will being the innermost, his intellect coming next, and finally his fantasy. You can hardly hope, at once, to exclude from all the circles everything that smells of the Enemy: but you must keep on shoving all the virtues outward till they are finally located in the circle of fantasy, and all the desirable qualities inward into the Will.

So, I think that doing good for those who will never know can be a true sign of generosity. But if none of  our generous acts are directed to those closest to us than we are not fully generous.

This was a nice reminder for me - to make an effort to not keep all my good intentions in my mind (or located in the circle of fantasy to use C.S. Lewis' language :) And, it is a good thing to remember that as humans we will have pieces of malice AND benevolence in us. The question is, which one will we choose to act on in any given moment, and towards whom?

Sources of Happiness

Serendipitously I picked up the novel Stargirl just before some interesting and challenging things happened in my life – and it just so happened that the book fit in my coat pocket. That was an immeasurable blessing under the circumstances.

There were many things about this book that spoke to me – especially about the two main characters. One of whom I want to be more like (Stargirl) and one of whom I relate a lot to (Leo).

Stargirl is completely unique. She is a very caring person who pays attention to those around her and reaches out in ways that are meaningful to that individual.

Leo is a good person. He cares deeply about what those around him think. In some ways, and at some times, he fights that tendency. But, he still feels it.

There were three powerful scene in the book that have really kept me thinking:

The first vignette:

Stargirl was leaning forward, looking earnestly at Becca Rinaldi, her voice small as a little girl’s. “When the other team scores a point and you see how happy it makes all their fans, doesn’t it make you happy, too?"

Becca growled, “No.”

“Doesn’t it make you want to join in?”

“No.”

“Don’t you ever want the other team to be happy, too?”

“No.”

Stargirl seemed genuinely surprised. “You don’t always want to be the winner…do you?”

Becca scowled at her, jutted out her jaw. “Yes. Yes, I do. Yes I always want to be the winner. That’s what I do. I root for us to win. That’s what we all do.” She swept her arm around the set. “We root for Mica.” She jabbed her finger at the stage. “Who do you root for?”

Stargirl hesitated. She smiled, she threw out her arms. “I root for everybody!” (p64-65)

It was this moment in the book where I knew I wanted to be more like Stargirl. It reminds me of a truth that another quote teaches:

"Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not."
- Neil deGrasse Tyson

The second vignette:

Riding away I said, “Why don’t you leave a card or something with your name on it?”

The question surprised her. “Why should I?”

Her question surprised me. “Well, I don’t know, it’s just the way people do things.

They expect it. They get a gift, they expect to know where it came from.”

“Is that important?”

“Yeah, I guess—”
…..
“Where were we?” she said.

“Getting credit,” I said.

“What about it?”

“Well, it’s nice to get credit.”

The spokes of her rear wheel spun behind the curtain of her long skirt. She looked like a photograph from a hundred years ago. She turned her wide eyes on me. “Is it?” she said. (p110-111)

This is a question I find myself repeating over and over in my head – Is it? I don’t know.

The third vignette:

Some people in the school were starting to turn on Stargirl, and by association Leo. His tendency to care what others think of him comes through. He has an encounter with a fellow student and discovers:

I had never realized how much I needed the attention of others to confirm my own presence. (p126) 

I feel the same way sometimes. It is in some ways an interesting catch 22 – we really do need people, and life is so much fuller and more fun when shared. But, we can become too dependent on the input of others. I’ve been finding that an intense "need for the attention of others to confirm my presence" leaves me quite vulnerable. And makes me want to be more like Stargirl – invested in the happiness of others. Strange how that leads to increased personal happiness :)

Yay for books that make me think :) and for such uplifting and motivating things to think about!