True Love

A few days ago I was watching TV - something I don't often do. After channel flipping for awhile we found a documentary about The Cosby show. The actors were talking about their experiences filming the show and some of their favorite, and funniest memories. Malcom-Jamal Warner, who played Theo for those familiar with the show, was sharing one of his favorite memories and I thought there was a powerful lesson in his story.

He said part of the reason he loved being in this cast was that it was different from most other shows about families. In one episode, he is in his room with his father talking about a recent report card and they play a clip from the show. It turns out Theo has been getting D's in his classes. His father is predictably unhappy about this. Theo turns to his dad and starts expressing his view that he isn't smart like his doctor father and that his father needs to just accept him for who he is and not expect him to be just like him. At this point, they shift from the clip back to Malcom. He says that in any other show, the music would have cued and the father and son would have embraced. Then he laughs as they shift back to the clip. Dr. Huxtable sits up from his launging position and says "Now that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" He goes on to explain that he expects his son to do his best, and he knows his son is capable of more than D's. He says he expects his son to make an effort. Then he walks out of the room, turns around walks back in and tells his son "come here" and then he gives him a hug.

My father did plenty of things like that as I was growing up. He filled his role as my mentor, guide, coach, disciplinarian, loving advocate. He was not afriad to push me and help me learn. He set boundaries and standards and then held me to them and did his best to enable me to reach my goals. He did not allow me to short change myself. There were moments when like Theo I wanted to be accepted for "who I am" or what I thought I was capable of. Looking back I am so grateful for my father, and other amazing people in my life that wouldn't let me settle for what I thought was my best but instead guided me toward what they knew I could become.

I am also very grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who does the same thing. He has provided me with commandments and standards. Sometimes they seem unattainable. Sometimes I want to just be accepted for who I am now. But ultimately that is not what I want. I want to be guided to greater joy and accomplishment. I want to have lasting joy through doing what is asked of me through the growth that comes from doing what seemed too hard and not fleeting happiness from settling for what seems good enough to me now. I hope that at least in the end I will always be grateful for those in my life who will tell me "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" and expect more from me than I'd be willing to give on my own.