Focus on the big picture or details?

I was invited to participate in a fundraising breakfast for an organization that seeks to reform the prison system in America with a particular focus on helping the families affected by a family member being incarcerated. Throughout my higher education experience I have often thought of this part of our society and it breaks my heart. When I was transitioning between jobs last time I even put effort into finding something related to the prison/ juvenile justice system and was (and still kind of am) considering finding a career along those lines.

Throughout the morning there were several speakers – including a mother who has been incarcerated for money laundering and her son who was about to graduate from high school. The various speakers said several things that have really stuck with me and really impacted me when I heard them.

In the beginning there was an invocation offered by a local rabbi. He had many wonderful and wise things to say, but the one that has stayed with me was his closing request that we “live in righteousness and faith.”

Then the organization was introduced. It was praised for its holistic vision, touted as an organization that “speaks truth to power” and praised for being “champions of freedom” – sounds pretty cool to me. Then the phrase that really got me – “We don’t just advocate for families, we advocate for policies that support families.” In my academic pursuits and now in my career pursuits I’m always struggling with that balance – being able to make a difference right now in the lives of children and families and working to make the structure we work in a better one to set more people up for long term success. Where and how are my specific talents and energies going to be best utilized? Where can I have the biggest, longest lasting impact? Questions that can start making me crazy…

After we ate, the mother mentioned above talked about what her life was like – how it appeared perfect from the outside, but really her marriage was falling apart and her husband was having her participate in illegal activities to maintain his habits. As she put it “appearances can hide a lot.” It is so tempting to think we know what others are going through or to think that lives are perfect because of what we can see. However, I have learned over and over again that usually people have pain, sadness, loneliness, fear, regret or other things hidden behind their brave smiles and seemingly calm and put together exteriors.  I think we could avoid a lot of negative situations if we were more aware of those around us and willing to provide kindness and acceptance and support for those we come in contact with.

It seems to me that no matter what I do for a living, it is important to create opportunities to make a difference right now in the lives of those around me. And maintaining my faith and hope in each individual and their ability to become better small steps at a time and expressing love to each person I interact with are powerful ways to support them. 

As someone I overheard on the phone at a park said, just do something, anything and then learn as you go. Great advice :)