Those of your needs that you don't let show

I'm not usually very good at opening up to people. I've developed well my skills to listen and support. I've worked hard to become strong and have a great desire to become self-sufficient.

While my goal to be self-sufficient and to help other is good, I've also come to realie that in my life it is not in balance. Not allowing myself to open up, to trust others, and to allow them to ehlp me is actually slefish, and inhibits my own growth and hte growth of those around me.

It has become very clear to me that pride factors into my feelings and behavior.

There were times in my recent transitions that I was able to humble myself and open up, and some that lead to some very helpful advice and situations.

First, I did everything in my power to set up transitional housing (a necessity). At the last second, it fell through. I was stressed. I chose to open up and tell others my dilemma. A former roommate offered her parents home to me, other friends offered couches for varying lengths of times, and a family I knew offered a spare room. I felt so loved and watched out for.

Later, while still looking for a job, I visited my brother. At Church, the leader of his congregation talked about how important it is to let others know our situations if we expect to receive help. As someone responsible for the temporal well being of his congregation, he said "If you want to see me angry, let me be surprised by a crisis"

Again, I was reminded that keeping all our pain, trails, frustrations, or potential crisis to ourselves is not productive and puts those how could help us in a difficult situation. If we open up sooner, we minimize the likelihood that things will become a crisis - and we allow ourselves and others to grow.

These thoughts have been on my mind for some time. Glad I finally got them on paper - or cyberspace . . . and I hope they are cohesive :)

If not, read these lyrics that convey what I want to do for others and let them do for me:

Lean on me, Bill Withers

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me