Safety Nets

All three of my brothers ride bikes, one of them LOVES to ride bikes. He currently owns four. 

 

Once he told our youngest brother, "I don't usually use my knee pads and safety gear when I wear them, but wearing them makes me more confident. Ironically, I do things that are much more dangerous when I wear them than when I don't."

This seems to encapsulate the power and benefit of safety nets.

The very fact of having a safety net makes us less likely to need one.

It enables us to take risks and reach heights we wouldn't have without the net below, just in case.

Recently I listened to a virtual event by Alex Boye. He opened his remarks by paraphrasing a story from a favorite book of his - The Magic of Believing, by Claude Bristol

Here is my paraphrase of his paraphrase:

A man was on a bus going home puzzling over how to tell his wife he had just lost his job and the negative things that would mean for his family. A man sitting next to him interrupted his reflections and asked what was wrong. 

 

After hearing the story, the man wrote a check and gave it to the concerned man telling him he wanted the man to return the check to him in a year. The check writer was Rockefeller, who at the time was the wealthiest man in America. The check was for $500,000. The man was shocked. He put the check in a safe spot, telling himself he would only cash it if he had to. He then went about his business with utter confidence. He went to interviews and found great success. At the end of the year, he returned the check.

More than once I have moved to new cities in different states without a job and not knowing anyone there. Each time I have known that I have a family who loves me and would help me out if things did not turn out well. A check I could cash if I really needed to, if you will.

After moving to New York City without a job I reached a point where I could pay rent or buy a plane ticket home.

 

I paid my rent.

 

A couple weeks later I got a job. But I know that if I hadn't gotten a job my parents would have helped me out (likely in the form of driving across the country and piling my stuff that would fit in the back of their Ford Ranger).

 

That safety net gave me courage and the possibility of taking the risk. Without that safety net I likely would have made very different choices.

This summer, I watched this same principle play out when my oldest niece got a new bike. She had been riding a bike that was too small for her and had training wheels. Her new bike felt huge and too far from the ground to her. She missed the training wheels.

She was scared, but when one of the adults she loved and trusted held her seat, she was willing to try. She had willing uncles, an aunt, grandpa and dad who were all happy to help her with her transition away from training wheels.

How grateful I am for those people in my life. Those willing to walk along with and encourage me when I feel overwhelmed, under-qualified, or just scared or sad.

 

I don't know if it is possible to be aware of all the safety nets in our lives, especially if we have always had them. And, I know that not using safety nets doesn't mean they are not there.

Maybe instead of judging the choices of others, we can find ways to be a safety net. Something I particularly like about this idea is that safety nets don't do the work for the individual, it enables them to see what they are capable of in a safe, supportive environment.