I will go, I will do – right?

For a very long time, I have told myself that I would go wherever God wanted me to and do what He would have me do. I still think that is true, at least for the most part. However, I had an opportunity to listen to a talk from Elder Claudio R. M. Costa, one of the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

As Elder Costa spoke to a group of single 20- and 30-year-olds he referenced a story that is very, very familiar to readers of the Book of Mormon (if you are not familiar with it, you can read 1 Nephi chapters 3-7). There is a young man named Nephi who is in a very similar life situation that most of us listening to Elder Costa find ourselves in. Nephi at one point tells his father “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them” (1 Nephi 3:7). Then he added, “I think most of us think we are like Nephi, and would say ‘I will go, I will do’, but are we not sometimes like Laman and Lemuel?” Laman and Lemuel were Nephi’s brothers who did not want to go and do the things that their father, through the guidance of God, was asking them to do.

Elder Costa then told the familiar story along these lines: One morning Nephi’s dad came to him and said, “I had a dream, and you need to go back through the desert three days and three nights and get these precious records from a man who has 50 men always on hand to kill anyone who takes anything from him.” Nephi said, I will go, I will do. How many of us would be tempted to say, “Oh Daddy, can’t I at least take a shower first?” or “Oh Daddy, isn’t there some other say? I might die if I try to do that.”

Well, these brothers do go and do. They finally get back to their family and once again Nephi’s dad comes and says, “I know you just got back, but I am going to stay here again, and I need you to go back three days and three nights in the desert and tell this man and his family to come and join us – and be sure to bring his daughters.” Imagine showing up on this mans doorstep and saying, “Hi, you don’t really know me, but you may remember my father who took us into the wilderness awhile back because people were trying to kill him. Anyway, I know I am dirty and smelly after walking three days and three nights through the desert, but I need you to come with me back to my father. Oh, and by the way, you need to bring your daughters so they can marry us.”

I know this may seem comical, or even a little sacrilegious, but it was a very timely thing for me to hear. As I already stated, I have tried to be the kind of person that says “I’ll go where you want me to go, dear Lord, I’ll do what you want me to do, I’ll say what you want me to say.” (check out this great video) Right now I find myself in great transition, and have been saying “Heavenly Father, where would Thou have me go? What should I do next?” Then I received what I call a prompting – I felt that there was guidance from a higher power that came to me. My response? I will go, I will do? Nope. Instead, I said “Whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute, that is not what I want to do. I have never wanted to live there, why should I look for jobs there?” And after a few moments, I felt I might need to redeem myself, so I said, “Okay, look. If this is what I’m supposed to do, I need some clear direction here, not just a passing thought.”

In essence, although I had been saying “I will go, I will do” when the actual assignment came, I said, “I need a little more time” (if I’m generous with myself) or “I meant I would do what Thou would have me do as long as it fits in with my plan and what I am comfortable with” (if I am more honest with myself).

I am grateful for the chance I had to listen to Elder Costa and the chance it has given me to step back and re-evaluate whether I really mean what I say and more specifically what I pray. I want to mean it, and I am going to work harder for my actions to be aligned with that desire and commitment.