Fear

"What am I going to do? I need a job!"

My mind was full of fear and those thoughts as I laid in bed trying to force my body to fall asleep (still adjusting to being back in my time zone . . .)

"Heavenly Father, I know that thou art aware of me, and I believe that everything will work out."

As I turned to God in prayer, I felt a great sense of peace wash over me. My mind was calmed. I again felt that everything would be okay. I was also reminded that someone recently counseled me to hand my fears over to God and let my faith push out my fear.

How grateful I am that is possible - and that I got to experience it again last night!

In the words of President Thomas S. Monson: “My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.” (PS the whole article this was quoted in is worth a read)

Learning about myself

I love to do jigsaw puzzles. I've pretty much always loved them, and I'm pretty good at them. In fact, when we got to decide on a class group activity in first-grade I decided to bring puzzles. One of the reasons I like puzzles is because they are a challenge, can involve many people, but are not inherently competitive in nature. There are no individual winners - every one can work together towards a desired end.

The quote of the day on my to-do list the other day made me realize another reason I like puzzles:

"A good puzzle, it's a fair thing. Nobody is lying. It's very clear, and the problem depends just on you." - Erno Rubik

That last phrase: "the problem depends just on you."

I don't think I have realized how deeply I desire to take care of things on my own. I think being self-sufficient is a good goal. I also think it can be carried to an unhealthy extreme. Time to do some pondering about where on that spectrum I am right now :)

The Stripling Warriors Sisters

I grew up hearing stories about how amazing "the stripling warriors" were. These were young men who fought courageously to defend their country and to keep their fathers from breaking an oath they made to never to take up arms against another human being.

They really were amazing individuals, and I'm glad I heard their stories. Check this out:

47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.

48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.

Alma 56:47-48

When I was in college, I got to thinking - why don't we know anything about the sisters of these incredible young men? Surely they had to be incredible people too, right?

On a plane to or from my parents home and college I was thinking about those wonderful young women and I wrote the following poem:

I was the sister of a stripling warrior -
His mother was my mother,
What she taught him, she taught me too.
The things he came to know, I too know.
He did not doubt the Lord, nor did I
Our faith won us battles,
His in war, mine at home -
And both in life.

Recently a former professor of mine shared an address about honor he gave to the incoming freshman class of 2015 at my undergraduate institution. His reasons for living an honorable life sum up how I feel about this topic:

I live an honorable life when I remember that my life is not my own. I live an honorable life when I embrace the gifts and acknowledge the sacrifices of those who came before me: gifts and sacrifices that made possible all that is good in my life. What I do with these gifts, what I do with my life, reflects on these gift givers.

I am grateful for the lives of the stripling warriors - and their sisters - and for the fact that the experiences of the stripling warriors were recorded so I can learn from them, and seek to honor them by how I live my life now.

Focus on the soda not the can

If you said I had a slight obsession with Andy Grammer I wouldn't contradict you. I am a sucker for thought provoking lyrics and catchy tunes. I think Andy Grammer does both well.

In his song "Numbers" he talks about our tendency to focus on outward appearance

Only talk to people who we think we might be kissin'
That's a lot of ideas to be dismissing

And the tragedy behind thinking about people in terms of their outward appearance

The value of personality seems to be dead

He doesn't claim to not fall into this trap - admitting that his "calculators' way over used" both in how he thinks about himself and in how he views those around him.

The thing that really caught my attention is his final line:

I need a formula or some sort of plan to focus on the soda not the can

I've heard that concept before:

. . . the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

The analogy of the soda and the can is a great one - really, it doesn't matter what packaging something is in, it doesn't change the properties of what is inside. I also really like the idea that we can create a new formula or a plan for our self making it easier to get to the heart rather than staying caught up by the can.

Hope

Someone recently told me that I am full of hope. This got me thinking about what I should hope for. I believe that my hope should be in and through Christ, but what exactly should I hope for?

I turned to the scriptures and found the following answers:

1. Mercy, through the Atonement of Christ (see Psalms 33:22)
2. Peace and comfort (see Psalms 42:11)
3. Salvation, or rewards in the life to come (see Proverbs 14:32)
4. Positive change in others (see Proverbs 19:18)
5. Eternal life (see Titus 1:2)
6. A better world (see Ether 12:4)
7. The ability to endure all things (see Article of Faith 13)

I do firmly believe that things will work out. Even if things get crazy, or hard or crazy hard. Even if there is pain and uncertainty and life doesn't go how we hoped it would. I believe a loving Heavenly Father has my best interests in mind and knows what I need to learn and grow and to ultimately be happy.

Especially in times of transition or uncertainty in my life, I find myself talking with people about how I know things will work out - the only questions are when, and what will happen between now and then. So I choose to have hope. I choose to give thanks that I am given opportunities to grow and be stretched - "all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (Doctrine and Covenants 122:7)

This I know!

Perspective

God only asks that each of us do the best we can. For Christ, that was living a perfect life and atoning for the sins of all mankind. For the rest of us, it is seeking to repent each time we fall and ensuring that Christ's Atonement was not for naught.

As someone at Church put it today: Someday we will be able to be perfect all on our own, but for now we have the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Beautiful!

I'm listening to what?

So I love, love, love music. I have a pretty eclectic taste in songs/artists. I'm particularly a sucker for lyrics I can relate to or that speak truth to my soul.

The other day I was listening to the radio and suddenly really heard some lyrics and had to pause to ask myself what I was actually listening to:

Tonight I will love love you tonight
Give me everything tonight
For all we know we might not get tomorrow

"Give Me Everything" by Pitbull, Ne-Yo, Nayer and Afrojack

Seriously? It hit me that this song perpetuates an "eat, drink and be merry" philosophy. A philosophy that really I can not support.

The Book of Mormon talks about this very mindset:

7 Yea, and there shall be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die; and it shall be well with us.

8 And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God.

2 Nephi 28: 7-8

The thing is, it's true - we might not get tomorrow. However, it doesn't follow then that we can or should use that to justify doing anything, especially something we know is not appropriate or in the best interest of ourselves and those around us.

Jesus Christ taught about this in a parable about a rich man:

17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?

18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.

19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.

Luke 12: 17-21

I know that death is not the end. I know that God loves His children and wants them to make good, righteous choices so they can live with Him again after this life. I want to be more aware of when I am choosing to surround myself in an "eat, drink and be merry" atmosphere so I can fight it and make wiser choices.